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The Parson Place Newsletter

July 2004 Rev. Michael L. White, Editor/Publisher

MISSION STATEMENT: Using computers and the Web to promote Christian views and a faith-related community, Parson Place offers FREE software downloads, inspirational articles, pastoral ministry materials, a subscription-only newsletter, and much more. Be sure to visit Parson Place on the Web today, and spread the word to all your family and friends to come visit, too!

You can view past issues of The Parson Place Newsletter in the Archives section of Parson Place on the Web.

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Parson Place Home
Christian News and Issues
Recommended Web Sites
This Issue's Web Tip
Final Remarks
Sponsors' Spot


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Reverend Fun's Weekly Cartoon!

Doing Laundry

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"

"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"

He yelled back, "Just do it!!"

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*


It's the only type of cooking a real man will do. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ, the following chain of events are put into motion:

1) The woman goes to the shops.

2) The woman makes the salad, vegetables and dessert.

3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray, along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man, who is lounging beside the grill, cool drink in hand.

4) The man places the meat on the grill.

5) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.

6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring him another cool drink whilst he deals with the situation.

7) The man takes the meat off the grill and hands it to the woman.

8) The woman prepares the plates and brings them to the table.

9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

10) Everyone praises the man and thanks him for his cooking efforts.

11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that "There's Just No Pleasing Some Women!"

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*

Mr. Jones Is History

Mr. Jones, the elementary school principal, made it a practice to visit the classes from time to time. One day, he walked into Miss Smith's 4th grade class where the children were studying American History. Mr. Jones asked the class how many states they could name. They came up with about 40 names. He jokingly told them that in his day, students knew the names of all the states. From the back of the room Little Johnny yelled, "Yes, but in those days there were only 13!"

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*

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Sunday School Lessons by Rev. Walter Albritton

This is a weekly instruction by Rev. Walter Albritton. Visit the Alabama-West Florida United Methodist Conference (AWFUMC) web site to read the most current one. Go to the AWFUMC's archives page to read past issues. To find out more about his inspirational writings and Christian ministry, visit Brother Walter's web site.

The Parson's Ponderings: Time Off to Relax
by Rev. Michael L. White

It's always great to get some time off from work and the usual routine to do some relaxing. I've been on leave (that's military speak for vacation, holiday, or whatever term you use for time off) for a couple of weeks now, with less than a week to go before I have to return to the "old grind", and has it ever been nice! Aside from having a most unusual summertime cold, my time off has been very relaxing, so far.

I realize that different people have different ideas of what is relaxing. I believe that generally has to do with their personality temperament and upbringing. Lots of people like to stay on the go and travel to see new sights, or work on some kind of hobby. As for me, I've always been partial to the idea of "doing only what I want to do" as the best way to relax. With so many demands placed on my time and expertise as a clergyman, it's so good just to be able to sit around home and play on my computer. I say "play", because even work seems like play to me when I accomplish it on my computer. Creating and/or updating web pages, downloading and installing new (usually free) software, composing and compiling software code, writing articles, writing on my books (which I hope to publish someday, and indeed I do plan to publish one very soon, so watch for the announcement here) -- these are all fun past-times for me.

It will all come to an end in a few more days. I can't believe how quickly time has passed! I guess it really is true that "time flies when you're having fun". Well, I get to enjoy one more weekend of fun and freedom before I have to return to "my day job". Maybe I'll get the opportunity to take a little more time off before the summer ends, but I'll have to wait and see.

I hope you're enjoying your summertime, too, and are taking advantage of whatever time off you can get when you can get it. As one witty person said, "Life is short, and then you die!" However, as a Christian, I've often said, "I'm going to live until I die, and then I'm going to live forever!"

As you relax in your hammock or lawn chair in the shade with a cool drink and an engaging book, or as you nap in your hammock/chair, I hope you'll enjoy it to the fullest. Whether you dream or daydream, make it a very relaxing one. All that demanding, annoying, other stuff will still be there when you return, unfortunately, but if you've truly relaxed, you'll be ready to meet it all with renewed energy. So, relax and have a very happy summer!

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Christian News and Issues

Maranatha Christian Journal
Read all the current Christian news headlines at MCJ Online.

World Net Daily (Extensive news from all around the world.)

Agape Press News (Top Christian news headlines)

Praize News (Top Christian news headlines from the Praize Christian Network)

Christian News and Commentary at Cross Walk

Voice of the Martyrs Newsletter
(Keep abreast of the latest reports of persecution of Christians all around the world.)

Read Breakpoint commentaries on the Breakpoint web site. Breakpoint is a daily (M-F) radio and email commentary by Chuck Colson. They are always insightful, thought-provoking, and very apropos to our times.

Listen to Breakpoint commentaries from the Breakpoint web site (in real audio format - works with Windows Media Player and RealOne Player).

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Recommended Web Sites

4 July 2004, is Independence Day in the USA!

Online Fireworks Greetings
I put this one first, because it's so much fun, I don't want you to miss it! However, make sure your browser has the Java plug-in installed, or it won't work. If you can't get Internet Explorer to display the page properly (because they removed the Java plug-in in a recent update), you can download Netscape 7.1 or Opera 7.51 for free, and it should work in either one of them. Happy Fourth of July, America!

America's Story from America's Library
A history of American Independence Day observances, music downloads, pictures, and more!

The Americans
A radio transcript by Gordon Sinclair, a Canadian, which was broadcast just over 31 years ago. Get ready to stand and cheer!

Bugles Across America
An excellent story of one man's quest to provide a live performance of "Taps" at every American veteran's funeral. (This is a repeat of last month, because I thought it appropos to observing American Independence Day.)

Happy Birthday, America!
Includes a verbal recording of a greeting from President George W. Bush

The 4th of July has breath-taking pictures accompanied by a beautiful rendition of "America" playing in the background. This site has a distinctly Christian flavor to it.

Fourth of July
A whole bunch of sites listed in the DMOZ (Open Directory Project) database; you could spend hours here)!

Contemplative poem to read about butterflies while beautiful background music plays and animated butterflies flitter around. Very relaxing, and a nice change of pace from all the 4th of July activities. ;-)

The Internet for Christians Newsletter
(read it online!)

The Christian Web Site Newsletter
For a complete list of current new additions, go to:

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This Issue's Web Tip

How many ways are there to add a URL to the Internet Explorer (IE) Favorites list? I know of at least four. We are probably all familiar with the typical point-and-click method; just choose Favorites from the menu using the mouse, and then click on the Add to Favorites item. Of course, for those who prefer using the keyboard shortcuts (like me), you can also accomplish this by pressing ALT+A and either pressing ENTER (because Add to Favorites is the default item selection on the menu) or by pressing the letter A again (because the underscored letter A is a keyboard shortcut, assuming you don't have additional folders or URL titles which also begin with A). However, there's an even quicker keyboard shortcut: press CTRL+D (this also works in Netscape), and the URL is added to your Favorites without even batting an eye, as if computers could bat their eyes anyway. Actually, computers don't haves eyes, unless you count the monitor; but I digress.

Now, the major drawback to that method is that the URL is saved to your root Favorites directory, so if you like to categorize your Favorites (as I do), this is not the boon it seems. Nevertheless, it comes in very handy, if you just want to save a URL quickly and move on.

The final method of adding URLs to your Favorites is to use the ol' mouse again. Just right click anywhere on the web page you wish to add, taking care not to click on any hyperlinks, and choose "Add to Favorites..." from the pop-up menu. This method does allow you to choose where you want to add the URL, so make your choice, and you're all done! Actually, speaking of right clicking on hyperlinks, you can add those to your Favorites by right clicking on them, too.

If you have questions, feel free to email me, and I'll do my best to give you answers. If I don't know, I can, at least, refer you to someone else who can help you.

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Final Remarks

Well, that does it for this issue! I hope you found something useful to share with others. You are welcome to share this newsletter with whomever, but PLEASE DON'T SPAM ANYONE with it.

God willing, I'll greet you again next month with another collection of the best of my Internet experience. God bless!!

Michael L. White
Email: info@parsonplace.com
Web Site: http://www.parsonplace.com

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Sponsors' Spot

To learn how to place your ad promotion here, view the Parson Place advertiser's page now for more details!

This month's sponsors: Dell and Gateway Computers. Are you in the market for a new computer or for a computer hardware upgrade? Why not make your next computer-related purchase at Dell or Gateweay? Click on their links below to see what they have to offer!

          Dell Business Weekly Promotion

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Feedback and Submissions

If you have comments or questions about any issue of the Parson Place Newsletter or the Parson Place web site, or if you want to submit web site recommendations, jokes, news items, etc. for the newsletter, please send them by email to info@parsonplace.com. As always, I welcome your feedback.

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