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The Parson Place Newsletter

June 2004 Rev. Michael L. White, Editor/Publisher

MISSION STATEMENT: Using computers and the Web to promote Christian views and a faith-related community, Parson Place offers FREE software downloads, inspirational articles, pastoral ministry materials, a subscription-only newsletter, and much more. Be sure to visit Parson Place on the Web today, and spread the word to all your family and friends to come visit, too!

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Parson Place Home
Christian News and Issues
Recommended Web Sites
This Issue's Web Tip
Final Remarks
Sponsors' Spot


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Reverend Fun's Weekly Cartoon!

Riding a Honda

A biker is riding a new motorcycle on the highway. While passing a car, he knocks on the window. The driver of the car opens the window, "Yes?"

"Ever driven a Honda motorcycle?"

"No, I haven't."

The biker drives on, until he sees the next car. While passing it, he knocks on the window. The driver of the car opens the window: "Yes?"

"Ever driven a Honda motorcycle?"

"No, I haven't."

Then suddenly there is a curve, the biker sees it too late. He crashes off the road into a ditch. A car stops and a man runs to the unlucky biker. Covered in blood, the biker asks, "Ever driven a Honda motorcycle?"

"Yes, I have. I had a Honda for 20 years."

The biker says, "Tell me, where are the brakes?"

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*

A Message for Mike

After directory assistance gave Glenda her boyfriend's new telephone number, she dialed him - and got a woman.

"Is Mike there?" Glenda asked.

"He's in the shower," she responded.

"Please tell him his girlfriend called," Glenda said and hung up.

When he didn't return the call, Glenda dialed again.

This time a man answered... "This is Mike," he said.

"Hey, you're not my boyfriend!" Glenda exclaimed.

"I know, I know," he replied. "That's what I've been trying to tell my wife for the past half-hour."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*

What's Your Religion?

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. I immediately ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!"

"Why shouldn't I?" he said.

I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!"

"Like what?"

"Well ... are you religious or atheist?"


"Me, too! Are you Christian or Jewish?"


"Me, too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?"


"Me, too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"


"Wow! Me, too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"

"Baptist Church of God."

"Me, too! Are you Original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?"

"Reformed Baptist Church of God."

"Me, too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?"

"Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!"

To which I said, "Die, heretic scum!" and pushed him off.

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*

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Sunday School Lessons by Rev. Walter Albritton

This is a weekly instruction by Rev. Walter Albritton. Visit the Alabama-West Florida United Methodist Conference (AWFUMC) web site to read the most current one. Go to the AWFUMC's archives page to read past issues. To find out more about his inspirational writings and Christian ministry, visit Brother Walter's web site.

The Parson's Ponderings: Times of Transition
by Rev. Michael L. White

Life is filled with transitions. We go through them whenever something changes in our lives, when one period of our lives ends and another begins. It's the end of an era, for instance, when we say goodbye to a grandparent or parent who has been a mainstay throughout our lives.

I'm a very sentimental and nostaligic person. I don't really want to go back to an earlier time in my life, but I do like to think about how things used to be as contrasted with how they are now, or are about to be. I've been through two big life transitions in the past two-and-one-half months. First, I became a grandfather for the first time when my grand-daughter, MaKenzie, was born in March, and just over a week ago, I became an empty nester, too, when my son, Josh, graduated high school. I don't think it has quite sunk in yet.

I remember when Josh was born. It happened the same way as Amy's birth, our firstborn. Ellen, my wife, had a regularly scheduled doctor's appointment for the days on which both were born. Amy was born two minutes before 3:30 p.m. on a Tuesday, and Josh was born two minutes till 9:00 p.m. on a Thursday. Some coincidence, huh, that they were each born at two minutes before either the top or the bottom of the hour?

I was present in the delivery room for both births, an experience for which I wouldn't trade anything on earth. There's simply nothing as stirring as seeing your own flesh and blood come into the world. Eighteen short years later, that same baby has now graduated high school. For Amy, it was nearly 21 short years after her birth till she was giving birth to her own firstborn.

Although Solomon was technically correct in saying, "There is nothing new under the sun," perhaps, in spite of his great wisdom, he failed to discern that everything is new to everyone when s/he experiences it. Indeed, sometimes it can still feel like new even when re-experienced.

Despite having graduated one child, graduating another was no less new for me. Even though the sun has risen in the eastern sky for thousands of years, each day is a new day, and each experience is a new experience. I can hardly wait for the next transition God has in store for me and, ultimately, for the final transition from this wicked world to one of everlasting joy and peace with Him.

Though I may get a bit misty-eyed and choked up over them, I thank God for all my life's transitions. As I reminisce about becoming and being a father and grandfather, I want to wish all other fathers a very Happy Father's Day!!

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Christian News and Issues

Maranatha Christian Journal
Read all the current Christian news headlines at MCJ Online.

World Net Daily (Extensive news from all around the world.)

Agape Press News (Top Christian news headlines)

Praize News (Top Christian news headlines from the Praize Christian Network)

Christian News and Commentary at Cross Walk

Voice of the Martyrs Newsletter
(Keep abreast of the latest reports of persecution of Christians all around the world.)

Read Breakpoint commentaries on the Breakpoint web site. Breakpoint is a daily (M-F) radio and email commentary by Chuck Colson. They are always insightful, thought-provoking, and very apropos to our times.

Listen to Breakpoint commentaries from the Breakpoint web site (in real audio format - works with Windows Media Player and RealOne Player).

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Recommended Web Sites

20 June 2004, is Father's Day in the USA!

Father's Day on Holidays.net
A history of the occasion, music, movie download, and more!

Happy Fatherís Day - History, Quotes, and Facts
Great stuff to help us celebrate Father's Day!

Bugles Across America
An excellent story of one man's quest to provide a live performance of "Taps" at every American veteran's funeral.

"How to Stop IM and Spim Abuse"
An interesting article on protecting yourself from Instant Message scams and abuse.

Scam Watch
A terrific site for helping you discern what's true to what's too good to be true

The Internet for Christians Newsletter
(read it online!)

The Christian Web Site Newsletter
For a complete list of current new additions, go to:

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This Issue's Web Tip

Are you sometimes frustrated by the sheer numbers of web sites to sift through after a search? Well, here's a tip to help narrow your search a little. Try enclosing your search word or phrase in quotes. In fact, using phrases instead of single words will go a long way in narrowing your search. You'll see an immediate reduction in both the numbers and the pertinence of the sites. The reason? Using quotes forces the search engine to list only those web pages with that exact phrase on them. It can make a huge difference.

If you have questions, feel free to email me and I'll do my best to answer them, or, at least, I can refer you to a source that can help you more than I.

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Final Remarks

Well, that does it for this issue! I hope you found something useful to share with others. You are welcome to share this newsletter with whomever, but PLEASE DON'T SPAM ANYONE with it.

God willing, I'll greet you again next month with another collection of the best of my Internet experience. God bless!!

Michael L. White
Email: info@parsonplace.com
Web Site: http://www.parsonplace.com

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Sponsors' Spot

To learn how to place your promotion ad here, view the Parson Place advertiser's page now for more details!

This month's sponsor: The Work-at-Home Moms Team.

Online community for WAHMs with articles, resources and services for work-at-home moms. Includes website awards, barter board, business and marketing ideas, contests and much more.

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Feedback and Submissions

If you have comments or questions about any issue of the Parson Place Newsletter or the Parson Place web site, or if you want to submit web site recommendations, jokes, news items, etc. for the newsletter, please send them by email to info@parsonplace.com. As always, I welcome your feedback.

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