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The Parson Place Newsletter

October 2006   Rev. Michael L. White, Editor/Publisher

MISSION STATEMENT: Using computers and the Web to promote Christian views and a faith-related community, Parson Place offers FREE software downloads, inspirational articles, pastoral ministry materials, a subscription-only newsletter, and much more. Be sure to visit Parson Place on the Web today, and spread the word to all your family and friends to come visit, too!

You can view past issues of The Parson Place Newsletter in the Archives section of Parson Place on the Web.

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* My book, Digital Evangelism: You Can Do It, Too!, is available for purchase in the online shops of some of the major bookstore chains. You can buy it from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books-a-Million, and Cokesbury, among others. Go to the Froogle web site and type in the search term, "digital evangelism", and you'll find numerous links to other online stores that carry it. If you want to get it from your local Barnes and Noble, Books-a-Million, or Cokesbury branch, or any other bookstore, for that matter, you may need to ask them to order it for you. It is also available for ordering in the United Kingdom. Just give the book sellers the book's ISBN -- 1-59581-120-6 -- to place the order from any book distributor in North America or the UK. You'll need to compare the cost of shipping versus local taxes to see which way is the better buy for you.

* Get your Parson Place Specialty Bookmarks now! They're beautifully designed and make an excellent accessory to any book, including The Holy Bible. These will make wonderful gifts to accentuate any books you give to your family and friends, or even for yourself. Remember -- you get FREE shipping on all bookmark orders, too!

* Are you looking for inexpensive Christian books or gifts? There's no better place to buy discounted Christian books, resources, and gifts than Christian Book Distributors (CBD). They have the best prices anywhere! Christmas is upon us, so check out what they have to offer now!

Buy discounted books and gifts from Christian Book Distributors

* Would you, or someone else you can recommend, like to advertize in The Parson Place Newsletter? Ad swaps welcome! View the Parson Place advertiser's page now for more details!

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Reverend Fun's Weekly Cartoon!


A Breath of Fresh Air

A lady on a commuter train was reading a newspaper article about life and death statistics. Fascinated, she turned to the man next to her and said, "Did you know that every time I breathe somebody dies?"

"Really!?" he said, "Have you tried mouthwash?"

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
Pastor Tim's CleanLaugh

A Legal Definition

Two lawyers walk into a restaurant. They put their briefcases on the floor and order two coffees. They get their coffee and pull out lunches from their briefcases.

"Sorry," the waitress says, "You can`t eat your own food here."

The lawyers look at one another, shrug their shoulders and swap sandwiches.

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
Pastor Tim's CleanLaugh

Travel Arrangements

When we moved cross-country, my wife and I decided to drive both of our cars. Nathan, our eight-year-old, worriedly asked, "How will we keep from getting separated?"

"We'll drive slowly so that one car can follow the other," I reassured him.

"Yeah, but what if we DO get separated?" he persisted.

"Well, then I guess we'll never see each other again," I quipped.

"Okay," he said. "I'm riding with Mom."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*

On-board Computer

A friend of mine bought a new car that sported an on-board computer. One Sunday morning when he got into the car to drive to church, the digital display lit up. Glancing at the readout, he chuckled at the announcement:

"Time for service."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*

Proper ID

New to the United States, I was eager to meet people. So one day I struck up a conversation with the only other woman in the gym. Pointing to two men playing racquetball in a nearby court, I said to her, "There's my husband." Then I added, "The thin one--not the fat one."

After a slightly uncomfortable silence she replied, "And that's my husband - the fat one."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*

Quotable Quotes

"A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes." - Robert Frost

"People are forever calling me a hypochondriac, and, let me tell you, that makes me sick." - Sandra Wilson

"If you want to make people angry, lie. If you want to make them livid, tell the truth." - Unknown

"Consistency isn't always good, especially if you're consistently wrong." - Unknown

"There is something wrong if you're always right." - Unknown

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for these quotes!*

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Sunday School Lessons by Rev. Walter Albritton

This is a weekly instruction by Rev. Walter Albritton. Visit the Alabama-West Florida United Methodist Conference (AWFUMC) web site to read the most current one. To find out more about his inspirational writings and Christian ministry, visit Brother Walter's web site.

The Parson's Ponderings: Fall Fun
by Rev. Michael L. White

Autumn is in full swing now, and so are the shorter days, cooler weather, and changing leaves. It's a fun and exciting time of year. While I was growing up, I used to dread this time of year, because I hated cold weather. As I've gotten older, however, I've come to appreciate every season of the year, even the chilly days of fall and winter. Of course, spring and summer are still my favorite seasons of the year, but the celebrations of Halloween/All Saints Day, Thanksgiving Day, Christmas Eve/Day, and New Year's Eve/Day are all wonderful occasions to share in fun, food, and fellowship with family and friends alike. I can hardly wait! I wish you an enjoyable October and a Happy Halloween and Reformation Day on October 31st! May God bless you richly, too!

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Christian News and Issues

Agape Press News (Top Christian news headlines)

Christian News and Commentary at Cross Walk

Maranatha Christian Journal
Read all the current Christian news headlines at MCJ Online.

Praize News (Top Christian news headlines from the Praize Christian Network)

Religion News Service
Read the latest press releases from various religious groups.

Voice of the Martyrs Newsletter
(Keep abreast of the latest reports of persecution of Christians all around the world.)

World Net Daily (Extensive news from all around the world.)

The Berlin Wall Between Church and State
A blog with lesser-known news stories.

Read Breakpoint commentaries on the Breakpoint web site. Breakpoint is a daily (M-F) radio and email commentary by Chuck Colson. They are always insightful, thought-provoking, and very apropos to our times.

Listen to Breakpoint commentaries from the Breakpoint web site (in real audio format - works with Windows Media Player and RealOne Player).

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Recommended Web Sites

Holidays this month: Columbus Day (October 9th, in the USA); Reformation Day and Halloween (October 31st)
All links open in a new window.

Annie's Columbus Day Page
Tons of links and helpful info about Columbus Day and its observance.

Reformation Day
A good synopsis of the origin and observance of Reformation Day

All Hallows Eve or Halloween
An excellent explanation of the origins and observance of this most often misunderstood Christian observance.

The Christian Web Site Newsletter
For a complete list of current new additions, go to:

The Internet for Christians Newsletter
(read it online!)

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This Issue's Web Tip

If you've ever needed to find a word or phrase quickly on a lengthy web page, this tip is for you. Simply use the CTRL+F key combination to bring up the Find dialog. You do this by holding down your CTRL (control) key and then pressing and releasing the F key. When the Find dialog appears, type in the word or phrase you wish to find in the Find textbox. You can use the "Match whole word only" and/or "Match case" checkboxes to narrow your search, if necessary. After you type in your word or phrase, click the Next button to find the first instance. Click it again to find the second instance, and so forth. You may click the Previous button to return to past instances of the word or phrase, beginning with the most recent one.

That's all for now! If you have questions, feel free to email me, and I'll do my best to give you answers. If I don't know, I can, at least, refer you to someone else who can help you.

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Final Remarks

Well, that does it for this issue! I hope you found something useful to share with others. You are welcome to share this newsletter with whomever, but PLEASE DON'T SPAM ANYONE with it.

God willing, I'll greet you again next month with another collection of the best of my Internet experience. May God bless you!

Michael L. White
Email: info@parsonplace.com
Web Site: http://www.parsonplace.com

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Sponsors' Spot

To learn how to place your ad promotion here, view the Parson Place advertiser's page now for more details!

Digital Evangelism: You Can Do It, Too!
You have a burden on your heart to
reach the world for Christ. Where do
you start, and what do you do next?
Get this book and find out!

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Feedback and Submissions

If you have comments or questions about any issue of the Parson Place Newsletter or the Parson Place web site, or if you want to submit web site recommendations, jokes, news items, etc. for the newsletter, please send them by email to info@parsonplace.com. As always, I welcome your feedback.

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