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The Parson Place Newsletter

October 2005   Rev. Michael L. White, Editor/Publisher

MISSION STATEMENT: Using computers and the Web to promote Christian views and a faith-related community, Parson Place offers FREE software downloads, inspirational articles, pastoral ministry materials, a subscription-only newsletter, and much more. Be sure to visit Parson Place on the Web today, and spread the word to all your family and friends to come visit, too!

You can view past issues of The Parson Place Newsletter in the Archives section of Parson Place on the Web.

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Happy Anniversary Sale! This month, October 2005, marks one year since my book, Digital Evangelism: You Can Do It, Too!, was first published! To celebrate, I'm offering a 20% discount on all purchases, until 31 October 2005, so now's the time to get your copy! By the way, the book now also has a specialty bookmark that matches its cover art. Look for the link on the book's order page, just above the "Add to cart" button. FREE shipping on all bookmark orders!

* It's here! I've just released a brand new software title I've developed for the Parson Place Software Creations collection. If you're looking for an easy-to-use computer program that enables folks with little or no HTML coding knowledge to create their own web pages in a snap, then Page Pump 2.0 is just what you've been waiting for. More advanced HTML programmers can also use it to create their own web pages quickly and easily. All you have to do is type your web document's text, then point and click on the command buttons to automatically create your web pages. Read more about it now!

* Get your Parson Place Specialty Bookmarks now! They're beautifully designed and make an excellent accessory to any book, including The Holy Bible. These will make excellent Christmas gifts to accentuate any books you give for Christmas, too. Remember -- you get FREE shipping on all bookmark orders!

* Are you looking for great software at affordable prices? Broderbund Software has just what you're seeking, a wide variety of titles, including educational, games, business, and professional. See what they have to offer!

* Are you looking for inexpensive Christian books or gifts? There's no better place to buy discounted Christian books, resources, and gifts than Christian Book Distributors (CBD). They have the best prices anywhere! Christmas is just around the corner (less than 90 days), so check out what they have to offer now!

Buy discounted books and gifts from Christian Book Distributors

* Would you, or someone else you can recommend, like to advertise in The Parson Place Newsletter? View the Parson Place advertiser's page now for more details!

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Reverend Fun's Weekly Cartoon!

Diary Circumstances

A little boy asked his mother, "What's that you're reading?"

A diary.

What's in it?

I can't tell you that. A diary is a highly personal and confidential affair; It has important secret dreams and secret yearnings. It's private. It's not meant to be shared with other people. And besides, this diary belongs to your sister.

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
Pastor Tim's CleanLaugh

The Porpoise

A research group on sea mammals captured a rather odd porpoise on one of its trips. Its peculiarity was that it had feet. After they had photographed and measured the poor thing, they prepared to set it free.

"Wait a minute," said one of the researchers, "Wouldn't it be a kindness if our ship's doctor here were to amputate the feet so that it would be like other porpoises?"

"Not on your life," exclaimed the doctor, "That would be defeeting the porpoise."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*


There was a case in one hospital's Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11 a.m.,regardless of their medical condition.

This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11 a.m. on Sundays.

So a world-wide team of experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents. The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11 a.m., all doctors and nurses nervously wait outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits.

Just when the clock struck 11... Pookie Johnson, The part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so that he could use the vacuum cleaner.

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*

Stern Announcement

During a sermon one Sunday, the pastor heard two teenage girls in the back giggling and disturbing people.

He interrupted his sermon and announced sternly, "There are two of you here who have not heard a word I've said." That quieted them down.

When the service was over, he went to greet people at the front door. Three different adults apologized for going to sleep in church, promising it would never happen again.

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*

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Sunday School Lessons by Rev. Walter Albritton

This is a weekly instruction by Rev. Walter Albritton. Visit the Alabama-West Florida United Methodist Conference (AWFUMC) web site to read the most current one. To find out more about his inspirational writings and Christian ministry, visit Brother Walter's web site.

The Parson's Ponderings: Transitions
by Rev. Michael L. White

Autumn is here, and the memory of this past summer is fading fast. Spring and summer, my two favorite seasons of the year, seem to pass by faster and faster with every year. Nevertheless, there is much that I love about autumn and winter, too. The crispness of the air and the beautiful coloring of the leaves are but two of those things. Baked turkey, sumptious dressing, and delicious desserts are a few others. I can hardly wait!

Life is about transition. The changing seasons reflect that, and the events of our lives reflect that. As I prepare to transition from life in the Army to civilian life once again, I am more aware of that fact than ever. What I will transition into, and how smoothly it will happen, is still a bit of a mystery, but I trust that God has a Divine Plan and is working in the midst of my life to bring it to pass. My prayerful desire is that I will yield to His Will for me, rather than insisting on my own way.

Will you pray with and for me that this will be the case? I greatly desire your prayers in this regard, and I welcome your words of support and encouragement, too. Until next time, I hope you will enjoy the festivities of fall as much as I expect to do. May God bless you richly!

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Christian News and Issues

Agape Press News (Top Christian news headlines)

Christian News and Commentary at Cross Walk

Maranatha Christian Journal
Read all the current Christian news headlines at MCJ Online.

Praize News (Top Christian news headlines from the Praize Christian Network)

Religion News Service
Read the latest press releases from various religious groups.

Voice of the Martyrs Newsletter
(Keep abreast of the latest reports of persecution of Christians all around the world.)

World Net Daily (Extensive news from all around the world.)

Read Breakpoint commentaries on the Breakpoint web site. Breakpoint is a daily (M-F) radio and email commentary by Chuck Colson. They are always insightful, thought-provoking, and very apropos to our times.

Listen to Breakpoint commentaries from the Breakpoint web site (in real audio format - works with Windows Media Player and RealOne Player).

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Recommended Web Sites

Holidays this month: Columbus Day (10 October, in the USA) and Halloween (31 October)
All links open in a new window.

Columbus Day
Features useful information significant to the observance of Columbus Day in the USA.

A secular perspective on the origin and customs of Halloween.

A Man in Need of Prayer
Here's a stirring call to prayer for someone we will all recognize.

Microsoft's Malicious Software Removal Tool
If you fear your computer may have a virus, you now have the option of letting Microsoft check your PC from their Web site, or, if that fails, you can download the malicious software removal tool from their Web site and run it from your own computer. Either way, the tool checks your PC for malicious software, such as viruses, and removes them for you.

The Christian Web Site Newsletter
For a complete list of current new additions, go to:

The Internet for Christians Newsletter
(read it online!)

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This Issue's Web Tip

This issue's web tip deals with managing pop-ups in the Internet Explorer (IE) web browser. If you've upgraded to XP SP2, then IE now has a built-in pop-up blocker. If it isn't automatically enabled after the upgrade, or if it has been disabled somehow, you can enable it by choosing Tools | Internet Options from the IE menu. Next, click on the "Privacy" tab of the Internet Options dialog, and check the "Block pop-ups" checkbox near the bottom. This will, in turn, enable the "Settings" button to the right of it.

When you click on the "Settings" button, you will be able to add web sites on which you wish to allow pop-ups. After all, not all pop-ups are accursed. Sometimes, a pop-up may contain desirable information or display a picture, as I've done on a couple of the Parson Place Family Newsletters. Therefore, you can add those sites where you approve of allowing pop-ups. If you change your mind later, or if you have chosen to allow a site by mistake, then you have the option of highlighting and removing one site at a time by clicking on the "Remove" button, or you can simply click on the "Remove All" button to remove all the allowed sites at once.

Beneath those options, you can also adjust what happens when a pop-up is blocked by checking either the "Play a sound when a pop-up is blocked" or the "Show information bar when pop-up is blocked" checkboxes. I strongly recommend you check the "Show information bar when pop-up is blocked" checkbox, because this will give you the option of allowing pop-ups on a given site "on the fly", that is, while you browse the web.

Finally, along the bottom of that dialog, you have the option of choosing how pop-ups will be blocked, whether "High" (block all pop-ups) or "Medium" (block most pop-ups), or "Low" (allow pop-ups from secure sites). Simply choose the one you prefer.

That's all there is to it! If you have questions, feel free to email me, and I'll do my best to give you answers. If I don't know, I can, at least, refer you to someone else who can help you.

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Final Remarks

Well, that does it for this issue! I hope you found something useful to share with others. You are welcome to share this newsletter with whomever, but PLEASE DON'T SPAM ANYONE with it.

God willing, I'll greet you again next month with another collection of the best of my Internet experience. May God bless you!

Michael L. White
Email: info@parsonplace.com
Web Site: http://www.parsonplace.com

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Sponsors' Spot

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Sue's Open-Hearted Suggestions for Writers Newsletter
Reaching the world for Christ through writing--
Visit Write4Christ.com where you will find free
and inexpensive tools to help you in your journey
of Web Evangelism. Sign up for the monthly newsletter.

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Feedback and Submissions

If you have comments or questions about any issue of the Parson Place Newsletter or the Parson Place web site, or if you want to submit web site recommendations, jokes, news items, etc. for the newsletter, please send them by email to info@parsonplace.com. As always, I welcome your feedback.

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