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The Parson Place Newsletter

March 2006   Rev. Michael L. White, Editor/Publisher

MISSION STATEMENT: Using computers and the Web to promote Christian views and a faith-related community, Parson Place offers FREE software downloads, inspirational articles, pastoral ministry materials, a subscription-only newsletter, and much more. Be sure to visit Parson Place on the Web today, and spread the word to all your family and friends to come visit, too!

You can view past issues of The Parson Place Newsletter in the Archives section of Parson Place on the Web.

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* Be sure to check out this issue's Sponsor's Spot for a really good offer for health, prescription, vision, and dental care benefits. It makes a terrific addition to your existing insurance!

* There is no winner to announce for the February 2006, Parson Place Newsletter Challenge, because no one responded to the challenge last month. I guess my offer of a FREE, fully functional copy of my QuickSort 2.0 software wasn't tantalizing enough. Either that, or there is just no interest in playing a monthly challenge. Therefore, I am suspending the challenge for this month. If you have any suggestions for future challenges, I'm all ears.

* Even if you failed to win a FREE copy of QuickSort 2.0, you can still purchase and immediately download your own copy from the Download and Register QuickSort page right now. Subscribers to the Parson Place Software list get a discount, so check it out! HINT: You can subscribe to the Parson Place Software list by registering any one of the Parson Place Software titles, but you must be a current subscriber to get your discount on either of the paid titles.

* My book, Digital Evangelism: You Can Do It, Too!, is also now available for purchase in the online shops of some of the major bookstore chains. You can buy it from Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Books-a-Million, and Cokesbury, among others. Go to the Froogle web site and type in the search term, "digital evangelism", and you'll find numerous links to other online stores that carry it. If you want to get it from your local Barnes and Noble, Books-a-Million, or Cokesbury branch, or any other bookstore, for that matter, you may need to ask them to order it for you. It is also available for ordering in the United Kingdom. Just give the book sellers the book's ISBN -- 1-59581-120-6 -- to place the order from any book distributor in North America or the UK. You'll need to compare the cost of shipping versus local taxes to see which way is the better buy for you.

* Get your Parson Place Specialty Bookmarks now! They're beautifully designed and make an excellent accessory to any book, including The Holy Bible. These will make wonderful gifts to accentuate any books you give to your family and friends, or even for yourself. Remember -- you get FREE shipping on all bookmark orders, too!

* Are you looking for inexpensive Christian books or gifts? There's no better place to buy discounted Christian books, resources, and gifts than Christian Book Distributors (CBD). They have the best prices anywhere! Christmas is upon us, so check out what they have to offer now!

Buy discounted books and gifts from Christian Book Distributors

* Would you, or someone else you can recommend, like to advertize in The Parson Place Newsletter? Ad swaps welcome! View the Parson Place advertiser's page now for more details!

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Reverend Fun's Weekly Cartoon!


The Power of Motivation

The head of a small industrial company posted DO IT NOW signs all around his office and plant in hopes of getting better results from his workers.

Some weeks later, when asked why he was removing the slogans, he said, "It worked too well: the bookkeeper skipped with $20,000; the chief clerk eloped with the best secretary I've ever had; three salesmen asked for raises; and the workers in the factory joined the union and are out on strike."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*

Job Experience

We encouraged our 18-year-old daughter to find a job to help pay for her college education. One day she came home with five applications, and later that evening we read them.

Under "Previous Employment," she listed "Baby-sitting."

And under "Reason for Leaving" she wrote, "They came home."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
Pastor Tim's CleanLaugh

House Call

A pipe burst in a doctor's house, and he called a plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumber-type things for a while, and handed the doctor a bill for $600.

The doctor exclaimed, "This is ridiculous! Even I don't make that much as a doctor!"

The plumber waited for him to finish and quietly said, "Neither did I when I was a doctor."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*

Special Investigation

A woman had a beautiful black cat with white feet, named Socks. Socks spent his days outside and came indoors only at night. One cool October evening, he disappeared.

She searched for him high and low, for several days, but all in vain. The following spring, however, Socks reappeared, looking healthy and clean. She figured he'd just been out sowing his wild oats, and let it go at that.

Everything was back to normal until that autumn, when Socks once again disappeared. The next spring, just as the prior year, he returned. When it happened for the third year in a row, she became very perplexed, and decided to investigate. She started by asking her neighbors to see what, if any, information they might have.

She was down to the last house on the block, the home of an older couple. If they didn't have the answer, she wasn't sure where she would turn. So she went up and knocked on the door. The lady of the house answered, and she asked her, "By any chance, have you ever seen a black cat with 4 white feet around here?"

"A black cat?" the woman said. "With 4 white feet? Oh my, yes! He's the sweetest thing. My husband and I kept seeing him outside every fall. We hated it that the poor thing had to be out in the cold, so we decided that when we go south for the winter, we'd take him with us. He's been going to Florida with us every winter for the last few years."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*

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Sunday School Lessons by Rev. Walter Albritton

This is a weekly instruction by Rev. Walter Albritton. Visit the Alabama-West Florida United Methodist Conference (AWFUMC) web site to read the most current one. To find out more about his inspirational writings and Christian ministry, visit Brother Walter's web site.

The Parson's Ponderings: The Beginning of Lent
by Rev. Michael L. White

I am writing this on March 1st, Ash Wednesday, the day the Church humbles herself and begins preparation for the Lenten Season. I will conduct a special service to mark the occasion this evening at 7:00 p.m. Local (Central Standard) Time, and we will also begin a weekly study at 6:00 p.m. on Sundays throughout the season of Lent, reflecting on Jesus' last week before His arrest and crucifixion.

According to the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary, the word "Lent" comes from the Old English word, "lencten", which means "spring". I have always loved the season of spring and the celebration of Easter. Traditional Christianity has made Lent a season of solemnity in preparation for the commemoration of Jesus' passion and death. While I certainly don't want to detract from that, I prefer thinking of Lent as a preparation for the Great Thanksgiving of Jesus' sacrifice for us and of His triumphal resurrection from the dead. I find myself filled with eager anticipation at the prospect of celebrating another Easter Day, when I will sing with gusto the great hymns, "In the Garden", "Low in the Grave He Lay", "He Lives", and my personal favorite, "Christ, the Lord Is Risen Today!" I get giddy just thinking about it!

The budding of trees, the blossoming of flowers, and the singing of birds are all signals of the cycle of renewing life everywhere. I believe God chose this season to spring forth from the grave as a Divine coincidence with all the other life-renewing events taking place during this season. Even as we plant crops, garden vegetables, and flower seeds, Jesus, the Word and Holy Seed of God, was planted in the grave and sprang forth on Easter morning. There is no greater Spring than that!

I pray your observance of Lent this year will yield a new meaning to your spiritual life with God, and as you wear green on St. Patrick's Day (March 17th), may it remind you even more of the renewal of life and the triumphant resurrection of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I hope you will have a delightful springtime, and a happy St. Paddy's Day!

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Christian News and Issues

Agape Press News (Top Christian news headlines)

Christian News and Commentary at Cross Walk

Maranatha Christian Journal
Read all the current Christian news headlines at MCJ Online.

Praize News (Top Christian news headlines from the Praize Christian Network)

Religion News Service
Read the latest press releases from various religious groups.

Voice of the Martyrs Newsletter
(Keep abreast of the latest reports of persecution of Christians all around the world.)

World Net Daily (Extensive news from all around the world.)

Read Breakpoint commentaries on the Breakpoint web site. Breakpoint is a daily (M-F) radio and email commentary by Chuck Colson. They are always insightful, thought-provoking, and very apropos to our times.

Listen to Breakpoint commentaries from the Breakpoint web site (in real audio format - works with Windows Media Player and RealOne Player).

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Recommended Web Sites

Holidays this month: St. Patrick's Day (17 March)
All links open in a new window.

St. Patrick's Day
A nice description of the history of this day and some of its customs and traditions.

Tanner Williams United Methodist Church
Check out the newly redesigned TWUMC web site! I composed it myself.

Try this free online trojan scanner at WindowSecurity.com, and give your computer a check-up.

Panda Titanium Software
Here's a free online scan for viruses at Panda Titanium's ActiveScan web site.

Trend Micro's Housecall
Try this free online scan to detect malware of all sorts on your computer.

The Christian Web Site Newsletter
For a complete list of current new additions, go to:

The Internet for Christians Newsletter
(read it online!)

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This Issue's Web Tip

If you've ever bought a new computer after using your previous computer for years and accumulating scores of favorite web sites that you like to revisit on a regular basis, then this issue's web tip is for you. All you have to do to preserve your favorites (or bookmarks, if you prefer Netscape or Firefox) is to export them to a single file which can then be easily imported into your new computer's Internet Explorer (or Netscape, Firefox, Opera, etc.) browser. Simply choose the Import and Export... command from the File menu (or the Import command from the Firefox File menu) and follow the instructions in the Import and Export Wizard. In Netscape, you will need to choose Manage Bookmarks from the Bookmarks menu, then choose Import from the Tools menu of the Bookmark Manager dialog that appears. Choose the favorites file or bookmarks file you saved earlier to import them into Netscape. When you're done, you'll have all your favorites or bookmarks right at your fingertips, just like you had on your previous computer.

That's all there is to it! If you have questions, feel free to email me, and I'll do my best to give you answers. If I don't know, I can, at least, refer you to someone else who can help you.

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Final Remarks

Well, that does it for this issue! I hope you found something useful to share with others. You are welcome to share this newsletter with whomever, but PLEASE DON'T SPAM ANYONE with it.

God willing, I'll greet you again next month with another collection of the best of my Internet experience. May God bless you!

Michael L. White
Email: info@parsonplace.com
Web Site: http://www.parsonplace.com

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Sponsors' Spot

To learn how to place your ad promotion here, view the Parson Place advertiser's page now for more details!


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Feedback and Submissions

If you have comments or questions about any issue of the Parson Place Newsletter or the Parson Place web site, or if you want to submit web site recommendations, jokes, news items, etc. for the newsletter, please send them by email to info@parsonplace.com. As always, I welcome your feedback.

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