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The Parson Place Newsletter

March 2005   Rev. Michael L. White, Editor/Publisher

MISSION STATEMENT: Using computers and the Web to promote Christian views and a faith-related community, Parson Place offers FREE software downloads, inspirational articles, pastoral ministry materials, a subscription-only newsletter, and much more. Be sure to visit Parson Place on the Web today, and spread the word to all your family and friends to come visit, too!

You can view past issues of The Parson Place Newsletter in the Archives section of Parson Place on the Web.

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* Do you have your copy of my new book, Digital Evangelism: You Can Do It, Too!? It is now available for purchase at https://books.parsonplace.com. It will make a wonderful gift for your pastor, church evangelism or missions committee chairperson, or the computer enthusiast in your family. Get your copy now, and while you're at it, why not get one for your family and friends, too?

* I have also recently updated my latest freeware software creation, QuickSort, to version 1.4. QuickSort quickly and easily sorts your text lists into either alphabetical or numerical order. Version 2.0 (a paid version) is also available for immediate download for only $19.95. You can download either version from the QuickSort registration page, so get your copy now!

* The Parson Place Forum is temporarily offline, due to a security upgrade. When I finally get it back online, you can post messages and read messages others have posted on the following topics: General, Christian Issues, Christian Writers, and Military Chaplaincy, with perhaps more to be added later.

* Are you looking for great software at affordable prices? Broderbund Software has just what you're seeking, a wide variety of titles including educational, games, business and professional. See what they have to offer!

* Are you looking for inexpensive Christian books or gifts? There's no better place to buy discounted Christian books, resources, and gifts than Christian Book Distributors (CBD). They have the best prices anywhere! Check out what they have to offer now!

Buy discounted books and gifts from Christian Book Distributors

* Would you, or someone else you can recommend, like to advertise in The Parson Place Newsletter? View the Parson Place advertiser's page now for more details!

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Reverend Fun's Weekly Cartoon!

Getting Acquainted

A man in a bar walked over to another man and sat next to him. Both had obviously been drinking rather freely. The first said to the other, "Hey! What's your name?"

The second man replied, "O'Malley."

The first said, "Hey! So is mine!" Where do you live?"

The second said, "Over on Kelly Street."

The first said, "Hey! So do I! Which house?"

The second said, "The white one on the corner."

The first said, "Hey! I live just across the street from there!"

About this time, the bartender leaned over to another man and said, "It's going to be a long night. The O'Malley twins are drunk again."

Get Better Soon

A retired man who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to Maimonides Hospital in Brooklyn and took his portable keyboard along. He told some jokes and sang some funny songs at patients' bedsides.

When he finished he said, in farewell, "I hope you get better."

One elderly gentleman replied, "I hope you get better, too."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
Pastor Tim's CleanLaugh

Tough Kids

Three little boys were bragging about how tough they were.

"I'm so tough", said the first boy, "that I can wear out a pair of shoes in a week".

"Well", said the second little boy, "I'm so tough, I can wear out a pair of jeans in a day".

"That's nothing", said the third boy. "When my parents take me to see my grandma and grandpa, I can wear them out in just one hour."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
Pastor Tim's CleanLaugh

Traffic Warning

As he was driving home from work, a man in a rural community was stopped by a local police officer. The motorist was given a ticket for failing to come to a full stop at a stop sign.

"Don't I get a warning?" he protested.

The officer replied, "Sure. If you don't come to a complete stop next time, you'll get another ticket."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*

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Sunday School Lessons by Rev. Walter Albritton

This is a weekly instruction by Rev. Walter Albritton. Visit the Alabama-West Florida United Methodist Conference (AWFUMC) web site to read the most current one. To find out more about his inspirational writings and Christian ministry, visit Brother Walter's web site.

The Parson's Ponderings: Celebrating Birthdays, Spring, and Easter
by Rev. Michael L. White

My first grand-daughter, Makenzie, will celebrate her first birthday this month. My son, Josh, will celebrate his 19th. I will celebrate my ... well, never mind how many birthdays I'm celebrating.

Birthdays are special days, however, no matter how many you're up to. I'm old enough to be a grandfather, but young enough to still be years away from retirement. Funny, I don't feel like a grandfather yet, though it's been a whole year since the "big event". Maybe it'll sink in at the "Princess Birthday Party" in a few days. I doubt it, but I'll let you know.

Easter is a very special occasion in the year, too. It reminds us of both the Great Sacrifice and the Glorious Hope of Jesus' death and resurrection from the dead. It is definitely my favorite holy day of the year.

When I was growing up, there were two times of the year I got new clothes: at the end of summer vacation for the start of school and during Holy Week or a little earlier to "look nice for Easter". Now, I might get a new shirt and tie or socks and underwear for Christmas, but that wasn't the same. There was something about those two seasons, end of summer and beginning of spring, that marked the year's two most significant transitions for me.

Spring has always been my favorite season of the year throughout my entire life, not just because it coincided with my birthday, but because it marked the renewal of the earth in so many ways: blossoming flowers and budding trees, singing birds and fluttering butterflies, green grass and sunny, blue skies, and the Hope of a New and Everlasting Life promised at Easter. This is why I begin longing for spring just as soon as all the New Year's party favors are stored (even if I usually don't celebrate New Year's with those things).

This year, I feel more excited about spring than I have in a long while. This year, I hope to realize a few points of personal renewal. This year, I hope to have more hope. After all, isn't that what birthdays and spring and Easter are all about?

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Christian News and Issues

Agape Press News (Top Christian news headlines)

Christian News and Commentary at Cross Walk

Maranatha Christian Journal
Read all the current Christian news headlines at MCJ Online.

Praize News (Top Christian news headlines from the Praize Christian Network)

Religion News Service
Read the latest press releases from various religious groups.

Voice of the Martyrs Newsletter
(Keep abreast of the latest reports of persecution of Christians all around the world.)

World Net Daily (Extensive news from all around the world.)

Read Breakpoint commentaries on the Breakpoint web site. Breakpoint is a daily (M-F) radio and email commentary by Chuck Colson. They are always insightful, thought-provoking, and very apropos to our times.

Listen to Breakpoint commentaries from the Breakpoint web site (in real audio format - works with Windows Media Player and RealOne Player).

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Recommended Web Sites

Holidays this month: 17 March, is St. Patrick's Day and 27 March, is Easter Sunday for western Christianity! (Orthodox Easter is 1 May.)

All links open in a new window.

St. Patrick's Day Customs and Traditions
A great source of history and information about who St. Patrick actually was and how St. Patrick's Day came to be a holiday observed all around the world.

Annie's "Resurrection Sunday" Page
This site is loaded with links, special Easter activities for families, and information about a proper celebration of the resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Easter in the Eastern Orthodox Church
This brief page explains the Orthodox Church's position on setting the correct date for celebrating Easter. You may also browse the Greek Orthodox Church site for more detailed information about the Greek (Eastern) Orthodox Church. Both sites are very educational about the Orthodox Christian faith.

The Internet for Christians Newsletter
(read it online!)

The Christian Web Site Newsletter
For a complete list of current new additions, go to:

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This Issue's Web Tip

If you've ever liked the content of a web page and wished you could keep a copy for your own personal use later, all you have to do is choose File | Save as from the menu and browse to the directory where you want to save the file. In Internet Explorer, at least, all of the graphics, as well as the textual content, will be saved to your hard drive for later review anytime you like.

To view it offline, all you have to do is double-click the web file's name or choose File | Open and browse to the directory where you saved the file, select it, and your browser will open the web page for offline viewing. If you ever choose the "Delete files" option from the Tools | Internet Options dialog, however, be very careful that you don't select the "Delete offline content" checkbox, or it may remove all your saved web pages from your hard drive, too.

That's all there is to it. If you have questions, feel free to email me, and I'll do my best to give you answers. If I don't know, I can, at least, refer you to someone else who can help you.

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Final Remarks

Well, that does it for this issue! I hope you found something useful to share with others. You are welcome to share this newsletter with whomever, but PLEASE DON'T SPAM ANYONE with it.

God willing, I'll greet you again next month with another collection of the best of my Internet experience. May God bless you!

Michael L. White
Email: info@parsonplace.com
Web Site: http://www.parsonplace.com

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Sponsors' Spot

To learn how to place your ad promotion here, view the Parson Place advertiser's page now for more details!

Cover for Digital Evangelism: You Can Do It, Too! Authored by Rev. Michael L. White, and published in October 2004, by Brentwood Christian Press, Digital Evangelism is valuable for every Christian, but it is a must-have for those who work regularly with evangelism, missions, and other vital outreach ministries of the Church. Pastors, evangelism committee members, and missions committee members are just a few of the key leaders in both local churches and denominational or general church agencies who should read and use this book. Get your copy now!

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Feedback and Submissions

If you have comments or questions about any issue of the Parson Place Newsletter or the Parson Place web site, or if you want to submit web site recommendations, jokes, news items, etc. for the newsletter, please send them by email to info@parsonplace.com. As always, I welcome your feedback.

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