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Announcements
* If you're looking for a regular dose of spiritual inspiration and encouragement, look no further! Christian Focus Magazine fits the bill. Along with fabulous articles from renowned authors like Billy Graham, Charles Stanley, Max Lucado, and others, you can also find an occasional article from the parson of Parson Place. Oh, and I almost forgot to mention the breath-taking color photography on nearly every page. Check out the Sponsor's Spot in this issue for a link to the CFM web site.
* My book, Digital Evangelism: You Can Do It, Too!, is available for purchase in the online shops of some of the major bookstore chains. You can buy it from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books-a-Million, and Cokesbury, among others. Go to the Froogle web site and type in the search term, "digital evangelism", and you'll find numerous links to other online stores that carry it. If you want to get it from your local Barnes and Noble, Books-a-Million, or Cokesbury branch, or any other bookstore, for that matter, you may need to ask them to order it for you. It is also available for ordering in the United Kingdom. Just give the book sellers the book's ISBN -- 1-59581-120-6 -- to place the order from any book distributor in North America or the UK. You'll need to compare the cost of shipping versus local taxes to see which way is the better buy for you.
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Humor
Reverend Fun's Weekly Cartoon!
Letter from a Farm Kid
Letter from a farm kid, now at Paris Island Marine Corps recruit depot:
Dear Ma and Pa:
I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before maybe all of the places are filled.
I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 am, but am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing. Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water.
Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you till noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.
We go on "route marches", which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.
The country is nice but awful flat. The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and Colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.
This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.
Then we have what they call hand-to hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds, and he's 6'8" and weighs near 300 pounds dry.
Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.
Your loving daughter,
Gail
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
Pastor Tim's CleanLaugh
Fear of Flying
Our co-worker kept trying to get her mother to fly out for a visit. "No way am I getting on an airplane," was the inevitable answer.
"Look, Mom, when it's your time to go, it doesn't matter if you're on the ground or in the air."
"I know," said her mother. "I just don't want to be that far off the ground when it's the pilot's time to go."
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
Church Leadership
We were celebrating the 100th anniversary of our church, and several former pastors and the bishop were in attendance. At one point, our minister had the children gather at the altar for a talk about the importance of the day. He began by asking, "Does anyone know what the bishop does?"
There was silence.
Finally, one little boy answered gravely, "He's the one you can move diagonally."
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
Quotable Quotes
"Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up." - Robert Frost
"Some ministers would make good martyrs; they are so dry they would burn well." - Charles Haddon Spurgeon
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow
"Put your troubles in a pocket that has holes in it." Unknown
"Better a witty fool than a foolish wit." - Shakespeare
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
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Inspiration
Sunday School Lessons by Rev. Walter Albritton
This is a weekly instruction by Rev. Walter Albritton. Visit the Alabama-West Florida United Methodist Conference (AWFUMC) web site to read the most current one. To find out more about his inspirational writings and Christian ministry, visit Brother Walter's web site.
The Parson's Ponderings: For God and Country
by Rev. Michael L. White
[I actually wrote and published the following article in The Bayonet newspaper at Ft. Benning, GA, on 29 July 2005. I thought it worth repeating here to celebrate both American Independence Day and the anniversary of the founding of the U. S. Army Chaplain Corps.]
Most everyone in the Army is aware that the Army was actually established on 14 June 1775, the year prior to our nation’s Declaration of Independence. However, the number is far fewer who know that the Army Chaplain Corps was established next, just a few weeks after the Army, on 29 July 1775. The Navy wasn’t organized until 13 October 1775, and the Navy Chaplain Corps followed on 28 November 1775.
Today [29 July 2005], as every year, Army chaplains Army-wide are celebrating our heritage and history. Ft. Benning chaplains are gathered for this annual Organizational Day picnic at the Uchee Creek Lodge and Recreational Area. There will be a special program of commemoration to kick things off, lots of fun activities for the kids, a softball tournament (chaplains against chaplain assistants – chaplains rule!), a cake-cutting ceremony (the youngest/newest chaplain and chaplain assistant gets the honor of assisting the Installation Chaplain), and, of course, lots of delicious barbeque, baked beans, and potato salad.
While all this is very exciting and enjoyable, we need to remind ourselves, however, that we are able to celebrate like this because of the service and sacrifice of so many who have gone before us. Chaplain (Major General) David Hicks, the Army Chief of Chaplains, wrote in his July 2005, newsletter, “In the 20th century alone, a total of 124 chaplains gave their lives in service to this nation.” Truly, these chaplains – and a large number of chaplain assistants, as well – rendered a very valuable service and made the ultimate sacrifice “For God and Country”. That phrase is the English translation of the Latin motto of the Army Chaplain Corps, “Pro Deo et Patria”. I think it says it all.
From 29 July 1775, to 29 July 2005, Army chaplains and chaplain assistants continue to serve for God and country. Happy Birthday fellow chaplains and chaplain assistants, and may God’s grace, mercy, love, joy, and peace be with us all. Amen!
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Christian News and Issues
Agape Press News (Top Christian news headlines)
Christian News and Commentary at Cross Walk
Maranatha Christian Journal
Read all the current Christian news headlines at MCJ Online.
Praize News (Top Christian news headlines from the Praize Christian Network)
Religion News Service
Read the latest press releases from various religious groups.
Voice of the Martyrs Newsletter
(Keep abreast of the latest reports of persecution of Christians all around the world.)
World Net Daily (Extensive news from all around the world.)
The Berlin Wall Between Church and State
A blog with lesser-known news stories.
Read Breakpoint commentaries on the Breakpoint web site. Breakpoint is a daily (M-F) radio and email commentary by Chuck Colson. They are always insightful, thought-provoking, and very apropos to our times.
Listen to Breakpoint commentaries from the Breakpoint web site (in real audio format - works with Windows Media Player and RealOne Player).
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Recommended Web Sites
Holidays this month: American Independence Day (4 July, in the USA); Anniversary of the founding of the U. S. Army Chaplain Corps (29 July, in the USA)
All links open in a new window.
Fireworks by Riversongs
Have fun shooting off fireworks from your desktop! Requires a Java-enabled browser.
Happy Birthday, America!
Short history of American Independence with the Pledge of Allegiance to the Flag and a child's rendition of the National Anthem.
The Declaration of Independence
Everything you ever wanted to know about the U. S. Declaration of Independence from when it was written to when it was signed to who all signed it.
What Happened to the 56 Men Who Signed the Declaration of Independence?
A very intriguing article that sets the record straight about what happened to the signers of the U. S. Declaration of Independence.
A Brief History of the U. S. Army Chaplain Corps
Read all about the origins and development of the U. S. Army Chaplain Corps from inception through every major war to the present.
The Christian Web Site Newsletter
For a complete list of current new additions, go to:
http://www.ChristianWebSite.com/search/New/
The Internet for Christians Newsletter
(read it online!)
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This Issue's Web Tip
Many times, your browser may use an old version of a web page from its cache, rather than providing the most current one, especially, if you don't clean out its history for a while. So, if you want to be absolutely sure you're viewing the most up-to-date version of a web page, here's a very simple and quick tip to do just that. Once a page opens in your browser, press and hold the Control (Ctrl) key, and then press and release the F5 function key. This will force your browser to refresh itself with the site's most current web page from its server.
That's all there is to it! If you have questions, feel free to email me, and I'll do my best to give you answers. If I don't know, I can, at least, refer you to someone else who can help you.
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Final Remarks
Well, that does it for this issue! I hope you found something useful to share with others. You are welcome to share this newsletter with whomever, but PLEASE DON'T SPAM ANYONE with it.
God willing, I'll greet you again next month with another collection of the best of my Internet experience. May God bless you!
IHS,
mike
Michael L. White
Email: info@parsonplace.com
Web Site: http://www.parsonplace.com
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Sponsors' Spot
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Need a little encouragement? You'll
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If you have comments or questions about any issue of the Parson Place Newsletter or the Parson Place web site, or if you want to submit web site recommendations, jokes, news items, etc. for the newsletter, please send them by email to info@parsonplace.com. As always, I welcome your feedback.
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