The Parson Place Newsletter
MISSION STATEMENT: Using computers and the Web to promote Christian views and a faith-related community, Parson Place offers FREE software downloads, inspirational articles, pastoral ministry materials, a subscription-only newsletter, and much more. Be sure to visit Parson Place on the Web today, and spread the word to all your family and friends to come visit, too!
You can view past issues of The Parson Place Newsletter in the Archives section of Parson Place on the Web.
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Announcements
* Get your Parson Place Specialty Bookmarks now! They're beautifully designed and make an excellent accessory to any book, including The Holy Bible. By the way, my book, Digital Evangelism: You Can Do It, Too!, now has a specialty bookmark that matches its cover art as well. Look for the link on the book's order page, just above to the "Add to cart" button. FREE shipping on all bookmark orders!
* Coming soon: I'm currently developing a brand new software title for the Parson Place Software Creations collection. I'm presently looking for people to beta test it for me. If you're interested, you'll get the final release version at half price when you email me your bug reports and/or personal review and recommendations. The beta version is free, of course. The software will be called Page Pump, and its purpose is to enable folks with little or no HTML coding knowledge to create their own web pages in a snap. More advanced HTML programmers can use it also to create their own web pages quickly and easily. All you have to do is type your web document's text, then point and click on the command buttons to automatically create your web pages.
Download the beta version now and report your experience to me by email at info@parsonplace.com by 1 August 2005. I will send a separate email announcement to the Parson Place email list when the final release is ready for purchase and download, hopefully, within the next 60 days. Try it today!
* Have you tried my latest software creation (not counting Page Pump), QuickSort? QuickSort quickly and easily sorts your text lists into either alphabetical or numerical order. Version 1.x is freeware, but version 2.0 is a paid version and is also available for immediate download for only $19.95. You can download either version from the QuickSort registration page, so get your copy now!
* The Parson Place Forum has been back online for a couple of months now, but only one person besides myself has even bothered to post any messages to it. If there is no activity on it over this next month, I will assume there is no interest in it and remove it from the site. I strongly encourage you to visit the Parson Place Community now, where you can post messages and read messages others have posted on the following topics: Christian Issues, Military Chaplaincy, the Parson Place web site, and Writer's Block, with perhaps more to be added later. Check it out!
* Are you looking for great software at affordable prices? Broderbund Software has just what you're seeking, a wide variety of titles including educational, games, business, and professional. See what they have to offer!
* Are you looking for inexpensive Christian books or gifts? There's no better place to buy discounted Christian books, resources, and gifts than Christian Book Distributors (CBD). They have the best prices anywhere! Check out what they have to offer now!
* If you're interested in earning extra cash from the comfort of your home, why not start your own business on the Internet?
* Would you, or someone else you can recommend, like to advertise in The Parson Place Newsletter? View the Parson Place advertiser's page now for more details!
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Humor
Reverend Fun's Weekly Cartoon!
Heavenly Spell Checker
A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her.
They saw her and began calling greetings to her "Hello - How are you! We've been waiting for you! Good to see you."
When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, "This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?"
"You have to spell a word," Saint Peter told her.
"Which word?" the woman asked.
"Love."
The woman correctly spelled "Love" and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.
About a year later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day. While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived.
"I'm surprised to see you," the woman said. "How have you been?"
"Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died," her husband told her. "I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill. And then I won the multi-state lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a huge mansion and my wife and I traveled all around the world. We were on vacation in Cancun and I went water skiing today. I fell and hit my head, and here I am. What a bummer! How do I get in?"
"You have to spell a word," the woman told him.
"Which word?" her husband asked.
"Czechoslovakia."
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
Pastor Tim's CleanLaugh
Voluminous Speech
Abraham was reading an article out loud to his wife. "Did you know that women use about 30,000 words a day, whereas men only use 15,000 words?"
Sadie replies, "The reason has to be because a woman has to say everything twice."
Abraham turns to Sadie and asks, "What?"
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
Behavior Modification
An elementary school teacher, well versed in educational jargon, asked for a small allotment of money for "behavior modification reinforcers."
The principal saw the item and asked, "What on earth are those?"
"Lollipops," the teacher explained.
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
Gardening with God
My sermon focused on how God knows which of us grows best in the sunlight and which of us needs shade. "For example," I said, "roses must be planted in the sun, but fuchsias thrive in the shade." After the service, a woman—face beaming—approached me. "Your sermon did me so much good," she said.
Before I had time to gloat too much, however, she added: "I always wondered what was wrong with my fuchsias."
Submitted to Christian Reader, "Lite Fare", by Perry Comer, of Camden, South Carolina.
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Inspiration
Sunday School Lessons by Rev. Walter Albritton
This is a weekly instruction by Rev. Walter Albritton. Visit the Alabama-West Florida United Methodist Conference (AWFUMC) web site to read the most current one. To find out more about his inspirational writings and Christian ministry, visit Brother Walter's web site.
The Parson's Ponderings: A Shared Honor
by Rev. Michael L. White
One night during this past week, I was watching a television program in which they showed numerous clips from interviews with Medal of Honor recipients to put a personal touch on the observance of American Independence Day. The Medal of Honor, if you don't know, was created by President Abraham Lincoln during the American Civil War, and is the highest award our country gives for military valor and heroism.
Two of the recipients made comments which really touched my heart. One said that he believed all Medal of Honor recipients wear that award for those they fought with who can't wear it. The other said that everyone thinks the Medal of Honor is awarded by the Congress and President of the United States, but in actuality, it is awarded by those few who fought alongside them and thought they ought to receive it. In all of those interview clips, though, I was struck by the obvious humility each man exhibited as he wore that award. He saw himself more as a representative of his military unit than a man singled out for distinction and honor.
As a military man who has never seen a day of combat in all my 24 years of service, I feel a great sense of respect for these warriors, and I owe a very deep debt of gratitude not only to them, but to all our military service members who have fought bravely in all our nation's wars. I hope that, as you enjoy your backyard barbeques, recreational parkside picnics, and family get-togethers this 4th of July weekend, you will pause, if only for a moment, to reflect on the sacrifices many men and women have made throughout our nation's history to defend our values and our way of life. Thank God for blessing America so richly throughout our history, and don't take any of it for granted anymore. Have a safe and Happy Independence Day!
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Christian News and Issues
Agape Press News (Top Christian news headlines)
Christian News and Commentary at Cross Walk
Maranatha Christian Journal
Read all the current Christian news headlines at MCJ Online.
Praize News (Top Christian news headlines from the Praize Christian Network)
Religion News Service
Read the latest press releases from various religious groups.
Voice of the Martyrs Newsletter
(Keep abreast of the latest reports of persecution of Christians all around the world.)
World Net Daily (Extensive news from all around the world.)
Read Breakpoint commentaries on the Breakpoint web site. Breakpoint is a daily (M-F) radio and email commentary by Chuck Colson. They are always insightful, thought-provoking, and very apropos to our times.
Listen to Breakpoint commentaries from the Breakpoint web site (in real audio format - works with Windows Media Player and RealOne Player).
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Recommended Web Sites
Holidays this month: 4 July, is Independence Day (in the USA).
All links open in a new window.
American Independence Day
Features a list of online documents significant to American history.
Pastors.com
"Encouraging pastors and church leaders with tools for healthy, growing churches." Subscribe to the Rick Warren Ministry Toolbox, too. It's a weekly e-newsletter from Rick Warren, pastor of the Saddleback Church and author of the highly aclaimed books, The Purpose Driven Life and The Purpose Driven Church.
Happy Birthday America
Contains loads of links and information.
Armed Forces Tribute
Heart-touching flash presentation of a child's letter to her daddy serving in the American military. Turn up your speakers' volume for this one.
Fourth of July Online Fireworks Greetings
Have fun with your own fireworks display! (Requires a Jave-enabled web browser.)
The Americans
Even though this commentary was first broadcast on Canadian radio back on 5 June 1973, by Gordon Sinclair, it seems the world situation and outlook toward Americans hasn't changed. These words could just as easily have been penned today. In fact, if the date of origin wasn't included with this article, I think we would all believe it had been written just this week. May God bless America!
I Can Only Imagine
A beautiful flash presentation based on the song by the same title and performed by Jeff Carson. Turn your speakers' volume up for this one.
The Christian Web Site Newsletter
For a complete list of current new additions, go to:
http://www.ChristianWebSite.com/search/New/
The Internet for Christians Newsletter
(read it online!)
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This Issue's Web Tip
Have you downloaded and installed a toolbar for your Internet Explorer (IE) web browser, and now you want to remove it, but you don't know how? Well, in this web tip, I will show you how to uninstall any toolbar that doesn't come with its own uninstaller.The process is simple. First, close all instances of IE which you may have open. Next, open Control Panel (click the Start button and choose Control Panel in Win XP). Then start the "Add or Remove Programs" applet. Scroll down the list of programs you have installed and highlight the name of the toolbar you wish to remove. Make absolutely sure you select the right name from the list, or you may inadvertently remove another program you wish to keep. Click on the "Change/Remove" or the "Remove" command button (depending on which you see displayed) at the bottom right of the highlighted area. A message box will pop up asking if you're sure you want to do this. If you're sure, then click the "Yes" button. Another dialog box will pop up showing you the status of the uninstallation. When the process is complete, the dialog box will go away quietly, and you can either choose another toolbar or other program to remove, or you can close the "Add or Remove Programs" window and go on to your next project.
That's all there is to it! If you have questions, feel free to email me, and I'll do my best to give you answers. If I don't know, I can, at least, refer you to someone else who can help you.
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Final Remarks
Well, that does it for this issue! I hope you found something useful to share with others. You are welcome to share this newsletter with whomever, but PLEASE DON'T SPAM ANYONE with it.
God willing, I'll greet you again next month with another collection of the best of my Internet experience. May God bless you!
IHS,
mike
Michael L. White
Email: info@parsonplace.com
Web Site: http://www.parsonplace.com
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Sponsors' Spot
To learn how to place your ad promotion here, view the Parson Place advertiser's page now for more details!Vista Prints has arguably the best deal going on business cards. For the amazingly low price of shipping only, you can get 250 high quality business cards. Don't pass up this offer!
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Feedback and Submissions
If you have comments or questions about any issue of the Parson Place Newsletter or the Parson Place web site, or if you want to submit web site recommendations, jokes, news items, etc. for the newsletter, please send them by email to info@parsonplace.com. As always, I welcome your feedback.
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