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The Parson Place Newsletter

January 2007   Rev. Michael L. White, Editor/Publisher

MISSION STATEMENT: Using computers and the Web to promote Christian views and a faith-related community, Parson Place offers FREE software downloads, inspirational articles, pastoral ministry materials, a subscription-only newsletter, and much more. Be sure to visit Parson Place on the Web today, and spread the word to all your family and friends to come visit, too!

You can view past issues of The Parson Place Newsletter in the Archives section of Parson Place on the Web.

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* My annual White Family Newsletter is now online, so be sure to check it out when you get the time. The year 2006 has truly been an eventful one for us!

* My book,Digital Evangelism: You Can Do It, Too!, will make an excellent gift for your pastor, evangelism chairperson, church library, or the Christian computer enthusiast in your family or circle of friends. It is also available for purchase in the online shops of some of the major bookstore chains. You can buy it from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books-a-Million, and Cokesbury, among others, as well as directly from Parson Place. If you go to the Froogle web site and type in the search term, "digital evangelism", you'll find numerous links to other online stores that carry it, too. If you want to get it from your local bookstore, you may need to ask them to order it for you. It is also available for ordering in the United Kingdom. Just give the book sellers the book's ISBN -- 1-59581-120-6 -- to place the order from any book distributor in North America or the UK. You'll need to compare the cost of shipping versus local taxes to see which way is the better buy for you.

* Get your Parson Place Specialty Bookmarks now! They're beautifully designed and make an excellent accessory to any book, including The Holy Bible. These will make wonderful gifts to accentuate any books you give to your family and friends, or even for yourself. Remember -- you get FREE shipping on all bookmark orders, too!

* Are you looking for inexpensive Christian books or gifts? There's no better place to buy discounted Christian books, resources, and gifts than Christian Book Distributors (CBD). They have the best prices anywhere! Check out what they have to offer now!

Buy discounted books and gifts from Christian Book Distributors

* Would you, or someone else you can recommend, like to advertize in The Parson Place Newsletter? Ad swaps welcome! View the Parson Place advertiser's page now for more details!

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Reverend Fun's Weekly Cartoon!


Monitoring the Situation

I sell new and used computers for a living. At an exhibit and sale, I decided to give away an old 13-inch monitor that I had lying around. My neighbor came by and said, "You're giving this away? I'll take it!" Then she noticed a 15-inch monitor at the end of my table. "How much for that one?" she asked.

I told her it was $75. She looked down at her free monitor, thought for a moment, and asked, "Do you take trade-ins?"

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
Pastor Tim's CleanLaugh

Photo Op

A photographer was hired to take pictures at a lawyers' convention. When he lined up his subjects, he got them to smile by shouting, "Okay, everyone, say 'fees!'"

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
Pastor Tim's CleanLaugh

Texas Banter

When I once attended a convention of oil men, the first speaker was from Texas. He rambled on about nonsense for a good half hour, and then introduced the next gent, who happened to be from Oklahoma. The Texan ended his introduction with, "Now, I give you Mr. Murcer from Oklahoma, an outlying province of Texas."

With that, Mr. Murcer began his speech, "Thank you, Mr. Smithson, but, just to set the record straight: there ain't no state that can out-lie Texas."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*

Flossing is Next to Religiousness

As a dental hygienist, I always encourage patients to floss. During one cleaning, the dentist I work with asked my patient if he was "flossing religiously."

"Well," the man hedged, "I floss more often than I go to church."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*

Carry-on Luggage

Explaining luggage regulations to passengers can be aggravating for flight attendants. One day a woman tried to board with an enormous bag. The lead flight attendant told her why it would not fit, but the woman argued that her bag was a carry-on because it had wheels and a handle.

Without blinking, the attendant said, "My Ford has wheels and a handle, but that doesn't make it a carry-on."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*

Quotable Quotes

"If Jesus were born one thousand times in Bethlehem and not in me, then I would still be lost." - Corrie ten Boom

"To perceive Christmas through its wrappings becomes more difficult with every year." - E. B. White, The Second Tree from the Corner.

"If our greatest need had been information, God would have sent us an educator; if our greatest need had been technology, God would have sent us a scientist; if our greatest need had been money, God would have sent us an economist; if our greatest need had been pleasure, God would have sent us an entertainer; but our greatest need was forgiveness, so God sent us a Savior." - Unknown

"I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US congress." - Ronald Reagan

"The road to success is marked with many tempting parking spaces." - Anonymous

"Success: How high you bounce when you hit bottom." - General George Patton

"Before resolving to jog five miles a day, visit a cardiologist to have your heart examined, a podiatrist to have your feet examined and a psychiatrist to have your head examined." - Anonymous

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for these quotes!*

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Sunday School Lessons by Rev. Walter Albritton

This is a weekly instruction by Rev. Walter Albritton. Visit the Alabama-West Florida United Methodist Conference (AWFUMC) web site to read the most current one. To find out more about his inspirational writings and Christian ministry, visit Brother Walter's web site.

The Parson's Ponderings: After Christmas Cheer Comes a New Year
by Rev. Michael L. White

With the passing of Christmas and the end of another year, we find ourselves transported into another time, a New Year. Exhausted from running about buying, wrapping, and exchanging gifts, signing and mailing Christmas cards, baking desserts and cooking huge meals, traveling to socialize with family, friends, and co-workers, and attending special church services, we collapse onto our sofa, recliner, or bed to rest. We reflect with a tinge of nostalgia on the events of the past year. It is bittersweet, to say the least. Because of that, some of us lapse into a mild depression we call the post-holiday blues. Others of us shake off that state of mind and eagerly charge into the new era, glad for a fresh start.

I'm one of those eager to charge into the New Year. I get excited every New Year at the prospect of the next year's fresh slate of events to be lived and enjoyed. Although I'm not as adventurous as Auntie Mame, I like her comment from the classic film titled "Auntie Mame": "Life is a banquet, but most poor suckers are starving to death!" How true that is!

There's no time for the post-holiday blues, so let's get excited about planning the next year. Let's resolve in this New Year to live life to the fullest, or, as a popular country music song has put it, to "live like you're dyin'". Treat every day as if it is your last, because one day, it will be your last. That is, it will be your last day of this life. We will most assuredly live forever; it's just a question of where we will live our forever.

How we've lived this life will be an important part of the rewards we will receive from our Lord when He calls us to be with Him forever, assuming, of course, that you've asked Him to save your soul from damnation. So, if you haven't done that, ask Him right now to forgive and save you, to be your Lord and Savior, then live the rest of your life as if Jesus is watching your every move, because He actually is watching our every move. He has said that we will have to give an account for every idle word we speak (see Matthew 12:36), and the Apostle Paul has said that we will be judged for every deed we do (see 2 Corinthians 5:10), so let's make our words and deeds count for Christ in the coming year! If we're truly fortunate, we'll make it to Heaven in 2007! Until then, however, I wish you a very Blessed and Prosperous New Year!

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Christian News and Issues

Agape Press News (Top Christian news headlines)

Christian News and Commentary at Cross Walk

Maranatha Christian Journal
Read all the current Christian news headlines at MCJ Online.

Praize News (Top Christian news headlines from the Praize Christian Network)

Religion News Service
Read the latest press releases from various religious groups.

Voice of the Martyrs Newsletter
(Keep abreast of the latest reports of persecution of Christians all around the world.)

World Net Daily (Extensive news from all around the world.)

The Berlin Wall Between Church and State
A blog with lesser-known news stories.

Read Breakpoint commentaries on the Breakpoint web site. Breakpoint is a daily (M-F) radio and email commentary by Chuck Colson. They are always insightful, thought-provoking, and very apropos to our times.

Listen to Breakpoint commentaries from the Breakpoint web site (in real audio format - works with Windows Media Player and RealOne Player).

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Recommended Web Sites

Holidays this month: New Year's Day (January 1st); Martin Luther King, Jr. Day (January 15th, in the USA)
All links open in a new window.

The annual White Family Newsletter is now online, so be sure to check it out when you get the time. The year 2006 has truly been an eventful one for us!

"New Year's Traditions" at InfoPlease
Interesting tidbits about New Year's traditions around the world.

Of course, what would any holiday be without fireworks?!

"Martin Luther King, Jr. Day" at InfoPlease
Read all about the history of the holiday, a biography of Dr. King, read some of his speeches, and much more.

English Bible History
Have you ever wondered how we got our English Bible translations? Get all the facts and details here!

A Brief History of the King James Bible
by Dr. Laurence M. Vance
Very interesting information about one of the most beloved versions of the Bible.

The Christian Web Site Newsletter
For a complete list of current new additions, go to:

The Internet for Christians Newsletter
(read it online!)

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This Issue's Web Tip

One of the most highly-desired features in the new Internet Explorer (IE) 7 web browser is its Phishing Filter. This is a very handy little tool for checking every web site you visit for the tell-tale signs of information theft, such as sites created by identity thieves and other wicked computer crackers to steal personally identifying information, passwords, credit card data, etc.

When you first install IE7, it will prompt you automatically to enable this feature, but if you weren't sure what you were enabling, and you didn't enable it, you can easily do so now by choosing Tools | Phishing filter | Turn On Automatic Website Checking... from the IE7 menu. It's just that simple.

If you visit a site you suspect might be phishing for personally sensitive information, and the Phishing Filter doesn't pop-up a warning on your screen, you can also submit that site for Microsoft to check against their current database of known sites. If it turns out to be one they've missed, they'll add it to the list. This is certainly one of the best innovations Microsoft has come out with yet!

If you haven't already done so, you can visit the IE7 download page to download it now. Be sure to read the About Internet Explorer 7 page for a full list of the new features.

That's all there is to it! If you have questions, feel free to email me, and I'll do my best to give you answers. If I don't know, I can, at least, refer you to someone else who can help you.

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Final Remarks

Well, that does it for this issue! I hope you found something useful to share with others. You are welcome to share this newsletter with whomever, but PLEASE DON'T SPAM ANYONE with it.

God willing, I'll greet you again next month with another collection of the best of my Internet experience. May God bless you!

Michael L. White
Email: info@parsonplace.com
Web Site: http://www.parsonplace.com

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