MISSION STATEMENT: Using computers and the Web to promote Christian views and a faith-related community, Parson Place offers FREE software downloads, inspirational articles, pastoral ministry materials, a subscription-only newsletter, and much more. Be sure to visit Parson Place on the Web today, and spread the word to all your family and friends to come visit, too!
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Announcements
* Order your copy of my book, Digital Evangelism: You Can Do It, Too!, today! Buy one for your pastor, church library, and missions and evangelism directors, too! The book also has a specialty bookmark that matches its cover art, which makes a terrific accessory. Look for the link on the book's order page, just above the "Add to cart" button. FREE shipping on all bookmark orders!
* Now available: I've recently released a brand new software title I've developed for the Parson Place Software Creations collection. If you're looking for an easy-to-use computer program that enables folks with little or no HTML coding knowledge to create their own web pages in a snap, then Page Pump 2.0 is just what you've been waiting for. More advanced HTML programmers can also use it to create their own web pages quickly and easily. All you have to do is type your web document's text, then point and click on the command buttons to automatically create your web pages.
Read more about it now!
* Get your Parson Place Specialty Bookmarks now! They're beautifully designed and make an excellent accessory to any book, including The Holy Bible. These will make wonderful gifts to accentuate any books you give to your family and friends, or even for yourself. Remember -- you get FREE shipping on all bookmark orders, too!
* Are you looking for inexpensive Christian books or gifts? There's no better place to buy discounted Christian books, resources, and gifts than Christian Book Distributors (CBD). They have the best prices anywhere! Christmas is upon us, so check out what they have to offer now!
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Humor
Reverend Fun's Weekly Cartoon!
New Year's Dinner
As in many homes on New Year's Day, my wife and I faced the annual conflict of which was more important - the football games on television, or the dinner itself. To keep peace, I ate dinner with the rest of the family, and even lingered for some pleasant after-dinner conversation before retiring to the family room to turn on the game.
Several minutes later, my wife came downstairs and graciously even brought with her a cold pop for me. She smiled, kissed me on the cheek and asked what the score was. I told her it was the end of the third quarter and that the score was still nothing to nothing.
"See?" she said, continuing to smile, "You didn't miss a thing."
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
Appearances
Each Friday night I drove my wife to the station for the train to Weimar, CA, so she could visit her sister who was ill. Ten minutes later, my sister arrived by train from Sacramento to manage our household over the weekend. On Sundays this procedure worked in reverse with my sister departing by train ten minutes before my wife arrived.
One evening after my sister left and while I awaited my wife's arrival, a porter sauntered over.
"Mister," he said, "you are sure some man! But one of these days you are goin' to get caught!"
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
Pastor Tim's CleanLaugh
Mousy Mom
A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along, when all of a sudden, a cat attacks them. The mother mouse yells, "BARK!" and the cat runs away.
"See?" says the mother mouse to her baby. "Now do you see why it's important to learn a foreign language?"
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
A Roped Response
A young fellow just starting into cattle ranching called the old cowboy one rainy evening and said he had a cow with problems having a calf.
The old cowboy got his rope, and drove thru the rain to his neighbor's house. The cow was standing out in the rain with her calf next to her. The old cowboy thought she should be examined anyway.
"Has she ever had a rope on her"?
"Oh, yeah, yeah! Last year!
The old cowboy twirled his rope over his head and made a perfect cast. As soon as the rope went over the cow's head, she bolted. In a dead run, she pulled the old cowboy around the corral on his stomach, full length in the mud, three times around the corral. The old cowboy finally got her stopped, and looking at the young man in a rage said," I thought you said she'd had a rope on her before!"
"I had a rope on her last year, and she did the same thing."
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
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Inspiration
Sunday School Lessons by Rev. Walter Albritton
This is a weekly instruction by Rev. Walter Albritton. Visit the Alabama-West Florida United Methodist Conference (AWFUMC) web site to read the most current one. To find out more about his inspirational writings and Christian ministry, visit Brother Walter's web site.
The Parson's Ponderings: A New Beginning in the New Year
by Rev. Michael L. White
The year 2006 brings with it a few new beginnings for the White house (no, not the U. S. Presidential White House, but the Michael White House). The Army chose in 2005, for the second time, not to promote me to the next rank, and since the rules say it's "up or out", I now find myself out of the active Army and in the part-time Army Reserve and the full-time pastorate. God gave me a few more opportunties to practice trusting Him, as I anxiously awaited the transition back into civilian life, where I would need gainful employment with a decent salary and a place to live once more. As usual, He has taken care of everything. Although I still have to find a home to move my multitudinous belongings into (they remain in storage for the moment), God has provided me with a very nice congregation to pastor just northwest of Mobile, AL. I start on Sunday, 15 January 2006. I'm very excited to be going there, and I hear they're very excited for me to be coming to them, too. Indeed, God has given me a lot to be thankful for in 2006, so I want to begin this New Year of new beginnings by saying, "Thank You, Lord, for being so good to me."
Whatever your new beginnings are for 2006, I encourage you to trust the Lord to work His glorious will out of the bad as well as the good. I'm a living testimony for His gracious goodness. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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Christian News and Issues
Agape Press News (Top Christian news headlines)
Christian News and Commentary at Cross Walk
Maranatha Christian Journal
Read all the current Christian news headlines at MCJ Online.
Praize News (Top Christian news headlines from the Praize Christian Network)
Religion News Service
Read the latest press releases from various religious groups.
Voice of the Martyrs Newsletter
(Keep abreast of the latest reports of persecution of Christians all around the world.)
World Net Daily (Extensive news from all around the world.)
Read Breakpoint commentaries on the Breakpoint web site. Breakpoint is a daily (M-F) radio and email commentary by Chuck Colson. They are always insightful, thought-provoking, and very apropos to our times.
Listen to Breakpoint commentaries from the Breakpoint web site (in real audio format - works with Windows Media Player and RealOne Player).
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Recommended Web Sites
Holidays this month: New Year's Day (1 January), and Martin Luther King, Jr. Birthday Observance (16 January, in the USA)
All links open in a new window.
New Year's Day
History, traditions, and customs
Billy Bear's Playgournd
Happy New Year for Kids
Black Dog's Happy New Year Celebration
Happy New Year for Kids
Martin Luther King, Jr. Day on the Net
A Celebration of the Man and the Holiday
The Christian Web Site Newsletter
For a complete list of current new additions, go to:
http://www.ChristianWebSite.com/search/New/
The Internet for Christians Newsletter
(read it online!)
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This Issue's Web Tip
Do you fill out a lot of forms on the Internet? Do you sometimes wish you could just click a button to automatically insert your name, address, user name and password combinations, and other pertinent information? If you answered yes, then let me recommend to you an auto-form-filler called Roboform. The free version has a limit of 30 passwords and identities you can create, which may be sufficient for many folks, but for $29.95, you can create unlimited entries. I use it extensively and find it absolutely essential. Give it a try!
That's all there is to it! If you have questions, feel free to email me, and I'll do my best to give you answers. If I don't know, I can, at least, refer you to someone else who can help you.
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Final Remarks
Well, that does it for this issue! I hope you found something useful to share with others. You are welcome to share this newsletter with whomever, but PLEASE DON'T SPAM ANYONE with it.
God willing, I'll greet you again next month with another collection of the best of my Internet experience. May God bless you!
IHS,
mike
Michael L. White
Email: info@parsonplace.com
Web Site: http://www.parsonplace.com
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Sponsors' Spot
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Sue's Open-Hearted Suggestions for Writers Newsletter
Reaching the world for Christ through writing--
Visit Write4Christ.com where you will find free
and inexpensive tools to help you in your journey
of Web Evangelism. Sign up for the monthly newsletter.
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Feedback and Submissions
If you have comments or questions about any issue of the Parson Place Newsletter or the Parson Place web site, or if you want to submit web site recommendations, jokes, news items, etc. for the newsletter, please send them by email to info@parsonplace.com. As always, I welcome your feedback.
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