The Parson Place Newsletter
MISSION STATEMENT: Using computers and the Web to promote Christian views and a faith-related community, Parson Place offers FREE software downloads, inspirational articles, pastoral ministry materials, a subscription-only newsletter, and much more. Be sure to visit Parson Place on the Web today, and spread the word to all your family and friends to come visit, too!
You can view past issues of The Parson Place Newsletter in the Archives section of Parson Place on the Web.
Add Parson Place to your Favorites now! 
Announcements
* Have you gotten your copy of my first book, Digital Evangelism: You Can Do It, Too!? It is now available for purchase at https://books.parsonplace.com. It will make a wonderful Christmas gift for your pastor, church evangelism or missions committee chairperson, or the computer geek in your family. Get your copy now, and while you're at it, why not get one for your family and friends, too?* I have also recently updated my latest software creation, QuickSort, to version 1.2. QuickSort quickly and easily sorts your text lists into either alphabetical or numerical order. Version 2.0 (a paid version) will be out soon. You can download the FREE version from the QuickSort registration page, so get your copy now!
* Have you checked out the Parson Place Forum yet? You can post messages and read messages others have posted on the following topics: General, Christian Issues, Christian Writers, and Military Chaplaincy, with more to be added later. Reply to one of my ice-breaker posts and/or post some new ones of your own. I invite you to go there right after you finish reading this month's newsletter. Just click on the Parson Place Forum button on the navigational menu at the left.
* Are you looking for great software at affordable prices? Broderbund Software has just what you're seeking, a wide variety of titles including educational, games, business and professional. See what they have to offer!
* Are you looking for inexpensive Christian books or gifts? There's no better place to buy discounted Christian books, resources, and gifts than Christian Book Distributors (CBD). They have the best prices anywhere! Check out what they have to offer now!
* If you're interested in earning extra cash from the comfort of your home, why not start your own business on the Internet?
* Would you, or someone else you can recommend, like to advertise in The Parson Place Newsletter? View the Parson Place advertiser's page now for more details!
* Donate to Parson Place
Parson Place appreciates your donations. Just click on the "Make a Donation" button and use PayPal's highly secure system to contribute any amount you choose.
Return to Top
Humor
Reverend Fun's Weekly Cartoon!
Christmas Signs
- From a toy store: "Ho, ho, ho spoken here."
- In a bridal boutique: "Marry Christmas."
- Outside a church: "The original Christmas Club."
- From a department store: "Big pre-Christmas sale. Come in and mangle with the crowd."
- In a Texas jewelry store: "Diamond tiaras: $70,000. Three for $200,000.
- A reducing salon: "24 Shaping Days until Christmas."
- In a stationery store: "For the man who has everything: A calendar to remind him when payments are due."
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
Holiday Eating
Here is some diet news just in time for the holidays.
(A) The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
(B) On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans
(C) The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
(D) The Italians drink large amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
(E) Conclusion: Eat & drink what you like. It's speaking English that kills you.
--- Janet Pollock Brooks
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
Dog's Rules For Christmas
1. Be especially patient with your humans during this time. They may appear to be more stressed-out than usual and they will appreciate long comforting dog cuddles.
2. They may come home with large bags of things they call gifts. Do not assume that all the gifts are yours.
3. Be tolerant if your humans put decorations on you. They seem to get some special kind of pleasure out of seeing how you look with fake antlers.
4. They may bring a large tree into the house and set it up in a prominent place and cover it with lights and decorations. Bizarre as this may seem to you, it is an important ritual for your humans, so there are some things you need to know: Don't pee on the tree... Don't drink water in the container that holds the tree... Mind your tail when you are near the tree... If there are packages under the tree, even ones that smell interesting or that have your name on them, don't rip them open... And Don't chew on the cord that runs from the funny-looking hole in the wall to the tree.
5. Your humans may occasionally invite lots of strangers to come visit during this season. These parties can be lots of fun, but they also call for some discretion on your part: Not all strangers appreciate kisses and cleans. Don't eat off the buffet table. Beg for goodies subtly. Be pleasant, even if unknowing strangers sit on your spot on the sofa -- they don't know any better. Don't drink out of glasses that are left within your reach unless you can get away with it...
6. Likewise, your humans may take you visiting. Here your manners will also be important: Observe all the rules in #4 for trees that may be in other people's houses. (4a is particularly important) Respect the territory of other animals that may live in the house. Be nice to the kiddies. Turn on your charm big time.
7. If a big man with a white beard and a very loud laugh emerges from your fireplace in the middle of the night, DO NOT BITE HIM!!!
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
Return to Top
Inspiration
Sunday School Lessons by Rev. Walter Albritton
This is a weekly instruction by Rev. Walter Albritton. Visit the Alabama-West Florida United Methodist Conference (AWFUMC) web site to read the most current one. To find out more about his inspirational writings and Christian ministry, visit Brother Walter's web site.
The Parson's Ponderings: The Reason for the Season
by Rev. Michael L. White
I'm sure you've heard the phrase, "The reason for the season", many times by now, but I wonder if it has grown as trite as so many other worthy sayings through the years. What does "the reason for the season" mean, anyway? Perhaps there are numerous opinions about its meaning, but the true meaning is that Jesus is the reason for the season.
Christmas has nothing whatsover to do with Santa Claus (or St. Nicholaus, or Father Christmas, or Kris Kringle, or whatever other names he may be known by around the world). Christmas has nothing whatsoever to do with family get-togethers or holiday parties or festive decorations or scrumptious desserts or filling meals. Christmas has nothing whatsoever to do with gift exchanges. Christmas is all about two key points: that Jesus, the Messiah, was born into the world to save humanity from sin and eternal damnation, and that this same Jesus is going to return at a time known only to God, the Father, and finally rescue us from this horrible existence we live in. All of these other trappings that we've come to associate with Christmas are truly meaningless matters.
I want to invite and encourage you all this Christmas to focus more on why we have such a holiday as Christmas to celebrate in the first place. If it hadn't been for Jesus' birth, which changed the world and divided time, there'd be no reason to get together with family and friends to enjoy parties and sweets and meals and gifts. There'd be no reason to celebrate Christmas, because there'd be no Christmas to celebrate. Think about that while you're readying yourself to participate in and enjoy all of these activities. Merry Christmas, and as Tiny Tim said in Dickens' classic story, A Christmas Carol, "God bless us everyone!"
Return to Top
Christian News and Issues
Agape Press News (Top Christian news headlines)
Christian News and Commentary at Cross Walk
Maranatha Christian Journal
Read all the current Christian news headlines at MCJ Online.
Praize News (Top Christian news headlines from the Praize Christian Network)
Voice of the Martyrs Newsletter
(Keep abreast of the latest reports of persecution of Christians all around the world.)
World Net Daily (Extensive news from all around the world.)
Read Breakpoint commentaries on the Breakpoint web site. Breakpoint is a daily (M-F) radio and email commentary by Chuck Colson. They are always insightful, thought-provoking, and very apropos to our times.
Listen to Breakpoint commentaries from the Breakpoint web site (in real audio format - works with Windows Media Player and RealOne Player).
Return to Top
Recommended Web Sites
Holidays this month: 24 December 2004, is Christmas Eve; 25 December, is Christmas Day, and 31 December, is New Year's Eve!
A Top 10 Christmas at Peggie's Place!
Very festive!
Here's a Feature Article About the Parson of Parson Place!
This article was just published on Friday, 3 December 2004, in The Bayonet, a newspaper for the Ft. Benning, GA, community.
PARauthors - A free, friendly home for aspiring writers and published authors.
http://www.parauthors.cjb.net
Earn points to apply toward a variety of items, just for answering surveys. Sign-up and participation are both FREE. Check it out!
MySurvey.com
The Internet for Christians Newsletter
(read it online!)
The Christian Web Site Newsletter
For a complete list of current new additions, go to:
http://www.ChristianWebSite.com/search/New/
Return to Top
This Issue's Web Tip
One of the nifty enhancements Microsoft made to the Internet Explorer web browser with the release of XP Service Pack 2 (SP2) is the ability to open/close a search pane to your favorite search engine(s) with the simple press of a key, the F3 key, to be precise. Press the key once to open the pane at the left of your browser window; press it again to close it. Type in your search term and press Enter, and a list of matching web sites appears below the search box in the same pane. Talk about handy! Now, you no longer have to go directly to the web site to conduct your search!If you haven't upgraded to XP SP2 yet, you really need to do so, for the security as well as the improvements. Just point your browser to http://www.microsoft.com/windowsxp/sp2/default.mspx for more details.
If you have questions, feel free to email me, and I'll do my best to give you answers. If I don't know, I can, at least, refer you to someone else who can help you.
Return to Top
Final Remarks
Well, that does it for this issue! I hope you found something useful to share with others. You are welcome to share this newsletter with whomever, but PLEASE DON'T SPAM ANYONE with it.
God willing, I'll greet you again next month with another collection of the best of my Internet experience. May God bless you!
IHS,
mike
Michael L. White
Email: info@parsonplace.com
Web Site: http://www.parsonplace.com
Return to Top
Sponsors' Spot
To learn how to place your ad promotion here, view the Parson Place advertiser's page now for more details!
Authored by Rev. Michael L. White, and published in October 2004, by Brentwood Christian Press, Digital Evangelism is valuable for every Christian, but it is a must-have for those who work regularly with evangelism, missions, and other vital outreach ministries of the Church. Pastors, evangelism committee members, and missions committee members are just a few of the key leaders in both local churches and denominational or general church agencies who should read and use this book. Get your copy now!
Return to Top
Feedback and Submissions
If you have comments or questions about any issue of the Parson Place Newsletter or the Parson Place web site, or if you want to submit web site recommendations, jokes, news items, etc. for the newsletter, please send them by email to info@parsonplace.com. As always, I welcome your feedback.
Return to Top
Subscribe/Unsubscribe This List
If you are not currently a subscriber to the Parson Place Email List, you can join simply by clicking on this Subscribe link now. To unsubscribe, go to the Parson Place Unsubscribe page.