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The Parson Place Newsletter

August 2005   Rev. Michael L. White, Editor/Publisher

MISSION STATEMENT: Using computers and the Web to promote Christian views and a faith-related community, Parson Place offers FREE software downloads, inspirational articles, pastoral ministry materials, a subscription-only newsletter, and much more. Be sure to visit Parson Place on the Web today, and spread the word to all your family and friends to come visit, too!

You can view past issues of The Parson Place Newsletter in the Archives section of Parson Place on the Web.

Add Parson Place to your Favorites now!


* Get your Parson Place Specialty Bookmarks now! They're beautifully designed and make an excellent accessory to any book, including The Holy Bible. By the way, my book, Digital Evangelism: You Can Do It, Too!, now has a specialty bookmark that matches its cover art as well. Look for the link on the book's order page, just above to the "Add to cart" button. FREE shipping on all bookmark orders!

* Coming soon: I'm currently developing a brand new software title for the Parson Place Software Creations collection. I'm presently looking for people to beta test it for me. If you're interested, you'll get the final release version at half price when you email me your bug reports and/or personal review and recommendations. The beta version is free, of course. The software will be called Page Pump, and its purpose is to enable folks with little or no HTML coding knowledge to create their own web pages in a snap. More advanced HTML programmers can use it also to create their own web pages quickly and easily. All you have to do is type your web document's text, then point and click on the command buttons to automatically create your web pages.

Download the beta version now and report your experience to me by email at info@parsonplace.com by 15 August 2005. I will send a separate email announcement to the Parson Place email list when the final release is ready for purchase and download, hopefully, within the next 30 days. Try it today!

* Have you tried my latest software creation (not counting Page Pump), QuickSort? QuickSort quickly and easily sorts your text lists into either alphabetical or numerical order. Version 1.x is freeware, but version 2.0 is a paid version and is also available for immediate download for only $19.95. You can download either version from the QuickSort registration page, so get your copy now!

* The Parson Place Forum has been back online for a couple of months now, but only one person besides myself has even bothered to post any messages to it. Since there has been no activity on it over this past month, even after I appealed for such in the last issue of this newsletter, I assume there is no interest in it or need for it. I will, therefore, remove it from the site shortly.

* Are you looking for great software at affordable prices? Broderbund Software has just what you're seeking, a wide variety of titles including educational, games, business, and professional. See what they have to offer!

* Are you looking for inexpensive Christian books or gifts? There's no better place to buy discounted Christian books, resources, and gifts than Christian Book Distributors (CBD). They have the best prices anywhere! Check out what they have to offer now!

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* If you're interested in earning extra cash from the comfort of your home, why not start your own business on the Internet?

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* Would you, or someone else you can recommend, like to advertise in The Parson Place Newsletter? View the Parson Place advertiser's page now for more details!

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Reverend Fun's Weekly Cartoon!

Grocery Pick-up

Soon after my 16-year-old sister started working after school as a grocery-store cashier, I went to see how she was doing. I tried to make myself inconspicuous as I waited to check out my purchases. Ahead of me was a young man who was flirting with my sister. Both embarrassed and amused by his advances, she continued to ring up his groceries. Finally, the persistent fellow ventured, "Would you like to go out to dinner with me tonight?"

Oblivious to his questions and adhering to her employee training, she asked him, "How will you be paying?"

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
Pastor Tim's CleanLaugh

King Ozymndias

King Ozymndias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Crosus, the pawnbroker, to get a loan.

Crosus said, "I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it."

"But I paid a million dinars for it," the King protested. "Don't you know who I am? I am the king!"

Crosus replied, "When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*

Compromise and Adjustment

Jane had a system for labeling homemade freezer meals. She would carefully note in large clear letters, "Meatloaf" or "Pot Roast" or "Steak and Vegetables" or "Chicken and Dumplings" or "Beef Pot Pie."

Everyday when she asked her husband what he wanted for dinner, he never asked for any of those meals. She decided to stock the freezer with his various requests. What he really likes.

In Jane's freezer now you'll see a whole new set of labels. You'll find dinners with neat little tags that say: "Whatever," "Anything," "I Don't Know," "I Don't Care," "Something Good," or "Food."

No more frustration for Jane because no matter what her husband replies when she asks him what he wants for dinner, it's there waiting.

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*

Come, and Get Me!

My brother dropped off his wife at the hairstylist and she was supposed to call me when she was ready to be picked up. She must have dialed a wrong number, she reported later.

She called, and a man said "Hello," to which she cheerfully said, "Come, and get me!"

The man said, "Are you sure? This is Mitchell's funeral home."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*

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Sunday School Lessons by Rev. Walter Albritton

This is a weekly instruction by Rev. Walter Albritton. Visit the Alabama-West Florida United Methodist Conference (AWFUMC) web site to read the most current one. To find out more about his inspirational writings and Christian ministry, visit Brother Walter's web site.

The Parson's Ponderings: 230 Years, and Counting!
by Rev. Michael L. White

Having just celebrated the 230th anniversary of the Army Chaplain Corps' organization on 29 July, I'd like to refer you to my recent article on that topic which was published in The Bayonet newspaper at Ft. Benning on that date. Happy Anniversary, Army Chaplains!

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Christian News and Issues

Agape Press News (Top Christian news headlines)

Christian News and Commentary at Cross Walk

Maranatha Christian Journal
Read all the current Christian news headlines at MCJ Online.

Praize News (Top Christian news headlines from the Praize Christian Network)

Religion News Service
Read the latest press releases from various religious groups.

Voice of the Martyrs Newsletter
(Keep abreast of the latest reports of persecution of Christians all around the world.)

World Net Daily (Extensive news from all around the world.)

Read Breakpoint commentaries on the Breakpoint web site. Breakpoint is a daily (M-F) radio and email commentary by Chuck Colson. They are always insightful, thought-provoking, and very apropos to our times.

Listen to Breakpoint commentaries from the Breakpoint web site (in real audio format - works with Windows Media Player and RealOne Player).

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Recommended Web Sites

All links open in a new window.

Wake-up Call from Luke's Jets
Pity the poor fellow who penned this thoughtless complaint to his local newspaper, the Arizona Republic, because it is now all over the Internet -- in blogs, forums, web pages, and multitudinous email forwards. A stirring response is included in the next recommended web site link below, but don't miss his apology in the Snopes.com review in the link following the response.

Flyby Honored Fallen Comrade
Here's the well-written response to the complaint written to the Arizona Republic in the recommended web site link above this one.

Wake-up Call
Even Snopes.com got into the fray on the previous two web site recommendation links confirming that this story is, indeed, true. However, they included what others have left out: the formal, written apology by Mr. Tom McRae. Read it for yourself.

New Articles by the Parson of Parson Place
I've just added my two most recent newspaper articles for The Bayonet onto the Parson Place web site.

NBC Nightly News Features the Ft. Benning Family Life Chaplain Center
An interesting feature story about how the Army is working to improve family life for its service members. LTC Sanderson, who was interviewed with his wife, Teresa, apart from the others during this report, was my battalion commander July 2003-June 2004. He and the unit he commanded at the time, the 2d Battalion of the 69th Armor Regiment, in the 3d Brigade of the 3d Infantry Division, led the assault on Baghdad in 2003.

The Christian Web Site Newsletter
For a complete list of current new additions, go to:

The Internet for Christians Newsletter
(read it online!)
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This Issue's Web Tip

This issue's web tip deals with a problem that is becoming all too frequent on the Internet nowadays. Rogue software, whether adware, spyware, or both, can cause all sorts of complications for us. Many of these programs manage to download and install themselves on our computer's hard drive without our even knowing it. Some of them hide out in, or tag along with, programs we intentionally download, and which technically obtain our permission to install themselves through a line or a paragraph buried deep inside a lengthy, complex end user license agreement. That's why we should read very carefully every end user license agreement before clicking the "OK", "I Accept", or "I Agree" button on the installation screen.

While using a software firewall, like Zone Alarm, may help prevent some problems, it may not prevent them all. Two pieces of software that are a must-have for cleaning up the gunk that adware and spyware produce on our hard drives are Ad Aware and Spybot: Search and Destroy. These are particularly effective at removing software, cookies, etc. whose chief purpose is to spy on our browsing habits and target us with ads. The worst, and most dangerous, spyware will send sensitive personal information back to its creator(s), such as passwords, bank account and credit card numbers, etc. as it finds or intercepts it. I strongly recommend you download and install both Ad Aware and Spybot: Search and Destroy, not to mention Zone Alarm. Of course, you need an up-to-date anti-virus program as well. Furthermore, you should check for updates to these tools on a daily basis and use them to scan your computer on at least a weekly basis. Doing this won't guarantee you'll never experience one of these problems, but it will certainly lessen your chances of being victimized by one of them.

That's it for now! If you have questions, feel free to email me, and I'll do my best to give you answers. If I don't know, I can, at least, refer you to someone else who can help you.

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Final Remarks

Well, that does it for this issue! I hope you found something useful to share with others. You are welcome to share this newsletter with whomever, but PLEASE DON'T SPAM ANYONE with it.

God willing, I'll greet you again next month with another collection of the best of my Internet experience. May God bless you!

Michael L. White
Email: info@parsonplace.com
Web Site: http://www.parsonplace.com

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Sponsors' Spot

To learn how to place your ad promotion here, view the Parson Place advertiser's page now for more details!

Vista Prints has arguably the best deal going on business cards. For the amazingly low price of shipping only, you can get 250 high quality business cards. Don't pass up this offer!

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Feedback and Submissions

If you have comments or questions about any issue of the Parson Place Newsletter or the Parson Place web site, or if you want to submit web site recommendations, jokes, news items, etc. for the newsletter, please send them by email to info@parsonplace.com. As always, I welcome your feedback.

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