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Announcements
* On 28 April 2006, Dave "Doc" Kirby, a part-time pastor and radio announcer with WTBF 94.7 FM and 970 AM radio in Troy, AL, will tape a telephone interview with me to be aired sometime thereafter regarding my book, Digital Evangelism: You Can Do It, Too! If you happen to live in the listening area in Southeast Alabama, I encourage you to tune in and listen. You can also visit their web site at http://www.wtbf.com to see all they have to offer. I'll announce the broadcast date in the May 2006, issue of The Parson Place Newsletter, if I know it by then, so be sure to watch for it.
* My book, Digital Evangelism: You Can Do It, Too!, is also now available for purchase in the online shops of some of the major bookstore chains. You can buy it from Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Books-a-Million, and Cokesbury, among others. Go to the Froogle web site and type in the search term, "digital evangelism", and you'll find numerous links to other online stores that carry it. If you want to get it from your local Barnes and Noble, Books-a-Million, or Cokesbury branch, or any other bookstore, for that matter, you may need to ask them to order it for you. It is also available for ordering in the United Kingdom. Just give the book sellers the book's ISBN -- 1-59581-120-6 -- to place the order from any book distributor in North America or the UK. You'll need to compare the cost of shipping versus local taxes to see which way is the better buy for you.
* Get your Parson Place Specialty Bookmarks now! They're beautifully designed and make an excellent accessory to any book, including The Holy Bible. These will make wonderful gifts to accentuate any books you give to your family and friends, or even for yourself. Remember -- you get FREE shipping on all bookmark orders, too!
* Are you looking for inexpensive Christian books or gifts? There's no better place to buy discounted Christian books, resources, and gifts than Christian Book Distributors (CBD). They have the best prices anywhere! Christmas is upon us, so check out what they have to offer now!
* Would you, or someone else you can recommend, like to advertize in The Parson Place Newsletter? Ad swaps welcome! View the Parson Place advertiser's page now for more details!
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Humor
Reverend Fun's Weekly Cartoon!
Computer Error
I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Harold, the computer guy, to come over. Harold clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum service call. As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?"
He replied, "It was an ID ten T error."
I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, "An ID ten T error? What's that ... in case I need to fix it again?"
Harold grinned.... "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?"
"No," I replied.
"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."
So I wrote down. I D 1 0 T
....IDIOT....
I used to like Harold.
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
Boat Compromise
My friend wanted a boat more than anything. His wife kept refusing, but he bought one anyway. "I'll tell you what," he told her, "In the spirit of compromise, why don't you name the boat?"
Being a good sport, she accepted. When her husband went to the dock for his maiden voyage, this is the name he saw painted on the side: "For Sale."
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
Pastor Tim's CleanLaugh
Ah, Innocence!
In the maternity ward of a hospital, newborn girl baby looks over at newborn boy baby and asks, "Are you a girl baby or a boy baby?"
The boy baby quickly chirps up, "I'm a boy baby!"
"How can you tell?" asks girl baby.
"Easy," says boy baby. And, with that, he threw off the blankets, hoisted up his itty-bitty nightshirt and proudly pointed downward. "See.....blue booties!"
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
One-Liners and Quotes
- “If you believe everything you read, better not read.” - Japanese Proverb
- "Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark."
- "The pessimist may be right in the long run, but the optimist has a better time during the trip."
- "Make God laugh. Tell him your plans." - Ken Hall
- "Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield."
- As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice:
When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "THEIRS"?
- "Some ministers would make good martyrs; they are so dry they would burn well." - Charles Haddon Spurgeon
- "They have Dial-a-Prayer for atheists now - you call up and it rings and rings, but nobody answers."
- "If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man." - Mark Twain
- "Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there's no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door." - Jerry Seinfeld
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
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Inspiration
Sunday School Lessons by Rev. Walter Albritton
This is a weekly instruction by Rev. Walter Albritton. Visit the Alabama-West Florida United Methodist Conference (AWFUMC) web site to read the most current one. To find out more about his inspirational writings and Christian ministry, visit Brother Walter's web site.
The Parson's Ponderings: Settling in for a Very Happy Easter
by Rev. Michael L. White
We've finally begun settling into our new home in Mobile, AL! It took just over two months to find the home God had reserved for us, but it was well worth the wait. We closed on our new home on 8 March 2006, and our household belongings were delivered to us two weeks later on 22 March. It took us a few days to locate our beddings, etc., and we also had to go out of town for a few days, so we weren't able to spend the night in our new home until 30 March, but at last, we are now starting to feel at home in our new home.
This is the perfect time of year for new beginnings. With a new home (our first-ever personally-owned home!) to settle into, and the new life of springtime trees, flowers, birds, butterflies, etc. all around us, I am beside myself with joy and excitement over the pending celebration of Palm Sunday, Holy Week, and Easter! Despite the solemnity of Lent and Holy Week, I can't help but look beyond the terrible suffering Jesus endured for us to see the triumphal joy and wonderful, matchless love and grace He displayed not only on the cross, but when He rose from the dead that first Easter morning.
At Tanner Williams United Methodist Church, where I am now pastoring, I have planned a touching Tenebrae Service for Good Friday night, which we will conclude by nailing our confessed sins to "the old rugged cross". On Easter morning, we will gather for a special Sunrise Service to comemmorate Jesus' early resurrection from the dead, followed by a light breakfast in our fellowship hall, and then we will climax these events with the beautiful, regular Easter Service, in which our choir will sing a mini-Easter cantata, I will preach an appropriate Easter sermon, and we will each file by that formerly awful and ugly cross, scarred from the nails of Good Friday, to place flowers of all colors upon it as a sign of how Jesus took a despicable object of pain, suffering, and death and turned it into something beautiful. I can hardly contain myself from the anticipation! This truly is my favorite time of year!
I hope your celebration of Easter this year will be every bit as delightful as I expect ours to be. I wish you a joyous Easter and a blessed Eastertide!
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Christian News and Issues
Agape Press News (Top Christian news headlines)
Christian News and Commentary at Cross Walk
Maranatha Christian Journal
Read all the current Christian news headlines at MCJ Online.
Praize News (Top Christian news headlines from the Praize Christian Network)
Religion News Service
Read the latest press releases from various religious groups.
Voice of the Martyrs Newsletter
(Keep abreast of the latest reports of persecution of Christians all around the world.)
World Net Daily (Extensive news from all around the world.)
Read Breakpoint commentaries on the Breakpoint web site. Breakpoint is a daily (M-F) radio and email commentary by Chuck Colson. They are always insightful, thought-provoking, and very apropos to our times.
Listen to Breakpoint commentaries from the Breakpoint web site (in real audio format - works with Windows Media Player and RealOne Player).
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Recommended Web Sites
Holidays this month: April Fool's Day (1 April), Palm Sunday (9 April), Maundy Thursday (13 April), Good Friday (14 April), and Easter Sunday (16 April)
All links open in a new window.
How Easter Works
An insightful explanation of Easter from the folks at HowStuffWorks.com
Easter in Cyberspace: A Christian Perspective
A list of Christian sites and directories devoted to Christian celebrations of Easter
The International Christian Embassy Jerusalem
A ministry devoted to comforting and helping the people of Israel
Psalm 23 Flash Movie
A beautiful rendition of the 23rd Psalm
The Christian Online Magazine
Lots of interesting content for Christians on this site
Interesting Things for ESL Students
A host of puzzles, games, quizzes, and more!
Newsweek's Sudoku Page
If you like the challenge of Sudoku, you'll enjoy this site
The Christian Web Site Newsletter
For a complete list of current new additions, go to:
http://www.ChristianWebSite.com/search/New/
The Internet for Christians Newsletter
(read it online!)
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This Issue's Web Tip
Have you noticed that when you add a Favorite to Internet Explorer that it always places it at the bottom of your list? Why it doesn't place it in alphabetical order automatically when you add it is beyond me, but if you want to alphabetize your Favorites, all you have to do is choose Favorites from the menu, then right click your mouse over the drop-down menu and choose Sort by Name from the pop-up menu to have all your Favorites instantly sorted in alphabetical order. You'll have to do this for all the folders you've created on your Favorites list, and you'll have to repeat it everytime you add a Favorite, but, at least, the option is there. Firefox and Netscape are both like this, too, though Netscape requires an extra step of choosing Manage Bookmarks from the Bookmarks menu.
Opera 8.5 is the only browser I've tried that automatically alphabetizes your Bookmarks AS YOU ADD THEM, plus more. You can change how Opera sorts your Bookmarks by choosing Manage Bookmarks from the Bookmarks menu and then pressing the View button on the toolbar to select your preferences. Opera allows you a variety of ways to sort your Bookmarks. In addition to sorting by name in either ascending or descending order, you can also sort by address, nickname (a name you choose to more easily identify a site), date created, date visited, or even by an order you specify, which essentially lets you arrange your Bookmarks in any random order you desire. If you like this kind of variety, then Opera is probably the browser for you. You can download it from the Opera web site, in case you're interested.
Well, that's all there is to this issue's web tip! If you have questions, feel free to email me, and I'll do my best to give you answers. If I don't know, I can, at least, refer you to someone else who can help you.
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Final Remarks
Well, that does it for this issue! I hope you found something useful to share with others. You are welcome to share this newsletter with whomever, but PLEASE DON'T SPAM ANYONE with it.
God willing, I'll greet you again next month with another collection of the best of my Internet experience. May God bless you!
IHS,
mike
Michael L. White
Email: info@parsonplace.com
Web Site: http://www.parsonplace.com
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Feedback and Submissions
If you have comments or questions about any issue of the Parson Place Newsletter or the Parson Place web site, or if you want to submit web site recommendations, jokes, news items, etc. for the newsletter, please send them by email to info@parsonplace.com. As always, I welcome your feedback.
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